New scary beginning

[Knittedfrog]

Married 30 years next year and am about to start getting my ducks in a row.
Too many bad points to list. No savings, no money, debt and a whole heap of shite I don't know about. Lie upon lie that I gave up believing him long ago.
Thankfully I work full time, all be it low paid but it's better than nothing.
Not sure where I'll end up but it's the beginning of the end and a new start that I will have complete control over.
Fearful of adult dd mental health and if she's strong enough to cope.

Feels weird and even scarier writing it down.

So what’s your plan ? It is scary, that’s true.

I need to get some money saved before I do anything. We don't have any savings, only debt, thanks to him.
I've been an idiot, gave up work to raise my child and now I have nothing. No savings or pension.
I work in nhs, band 2. Not brilliant but could be worse.
I won't be entitled to any help so need to sort my own housing etc.
It's a long road ahead with some really tough times, I imagine. But there has to be more for me than this. Even getting out and being responsible for myself will be a challenge but will bring me a sense of freedom and pride in myself.
If I could go tomorrow I would in a heartbeat.
If I could do it on determination and wanting alone, then no problem but I can't live on thin air!
So,my first step is to get some cash saved. Whist grinning and baring it.
Any advice is greatly received

I don't have any advice, just wishing you luck and solidarity as I too will be ending things after Christmas. Funny isn't it how you just reach your limit and know it is over. You sound very switched on, I'm sure you will find a way to save and get out.

Well you've already started the process, good luck for the future. Money is such a problem in your situation, isn't it? You'll get there in the end though.
In the meantime and .

Thank you both.
purpleface - are you able to leave straight away?
This is where I kick myself for being some sort of 50's housewife. Still, onwards and upwards. Life can only get better and I certainly can only get happier!

I am also an idiot who did the SAHM thing, but thanks to an inheritance plus returning to work a few years ago I am very lucky and able to afford to move out (although I would prefer my DPs to still be alive!). I'll be buying not renting which will take some time to arrange and I will have to do it with full disclosure and no doubt a lot of arguing. I am dreading all the arguments and anguish, but it must be a million times worse with serious money worries. I can't see 2019 being much fun, but hopefully the not-too-far future will be much brighter!

Have you got a solicitor?

What are you saving towards? Deposit for rental of your own? Have you made sure any future debt is his alone, it’s doable despite you being married although I’m not sure how. Someone will be able to advise you.

No solicitor yet as I can't do anything until I've got some money together.
So, my aim is to save as much as I can. Then, insist the house is sold as we can't afford it individually. And it's a burden round my neck.
I will have to rent. Will very likely have young adult daughter with me. I've checked on line and won't be entitled to any help. So need to get myself set up and then I should be entitled to part of his very good pension.
I am worried about my daughters mh but I just can't stay with him.
I wish it wasn't Christmas.
Purpleface- I hope things go well for you. It will be hard but you are in a good starting position by the sounds of it.