Currently sorting out finances with STBXH with collaborative solicitors. So far has been quite straightforward and reasonable. We have agreed how to split assets and I appreciate I am in a very fortunate position as am able to stay in the FMH.
STBHX earns a lot more than I do - I took career breaks to look after the children and then term time, part time work to be the main child carer. The children are now nearly 13 and 15. XH went straight to cohabiting with OW and her two children and so far my children have refused to go to his new house and won't stay over but the aim is EOW at some point. XH preciously stated in a joint meeting that he didn't feel the fact he was living with other children should be taken in to account when calculating child maintenance and verbally offered slightly over the amount CMS would make him pay monthly. All good so far.
Solicitor emailed over the draft financial order last week that we are due to sign next week and there are a couple of things that I am not sure about and haven't been discussed previously. Am due to meet my solicitor tomorrow to discuss but am wondering if I am being unreasonable.
Firstly, child maintenance has been set at the slightly over the CMS amount, but there is a proviso written in that no application will be made to CMS after a year and that if forced to for benefits purposes and the amount comes out higher or lower than the agreed amount we would repay the extra to the person losing out. It seems like the level has been set for the remaining years and won't change, regardless of the fact that XH is likely to have regular, substantial pay rises and bonuses.
The second issue is that I asked if XH would consider offering some financial support to DS's whilst at university. This has been written into the order that once DS1 goes to university XH will start paying 50% of the maintenance (at the amount set now) directly to DS1. However, if doing through CMS two children receive 20% and one child 15%. I obviously have no idea where I will stand financially in 4 years but it feels unfair to DS2, plus it is likely I will have to support DS1 through university holidays etc. I think I resent the fact that a financial decision is being made on my behalf, 3 years in advance. Is this normal/reasonable?
I have no idea how much of this has come from XH and how much the solicitors have stipulated, so hopefully will have more of an idea tomorrow.
I want to make sure I am being reasonable and not letting my emotions cloud my judgement so any experiences or input welcomed.