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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I don't think I'm in love with my husband anymore.

2 replies

lissa23 · 28/11/2018 22:15

I'm not in love with my husband anymore...Married for 5.5yrs, together for 11yrs. We have 4 young children.
Last December I discovered that my H had been sneaking about and inappropriately messaging one of his clients.
Up until this point things were great, or so I had thought.
He buried his head in the sand and refused to discuss it but assured me there had been no physical relationship between them.
I forgave him and tried to move on.
Then in June, another one, another client, another string of inappropriate messages... also a rumour flying around town that they had slept together. I told him we were over.
Our youngest child became seriously ill in August and was in hospital 150miles from home, I stayed with her whilst she was in hospital for 16 weeks and he 'looked after' our other 3 children at home.
The separation/divorce was put on hold as I couldn't deal with it whilst my little one was so unwell. And he refused to swap places with me as he said I only wanted to come home to sort the divorce out.
He did nothing with the children when we were not there, the children said he sent them all upstairs all the time and was constantly on his phone.
During this time, he invited another woman that works with him to our home - on my birthday! - and she claimed to have slept with him.
Once again, he claims this is not true, it was mistaken identity and it was another one of his colleagues!!
Then 3 weeks ago, I logged onto his Instagram and saw him messaging another one, I was still in the hospital at this point, and called him out on it (and her!) straight away, they were both horrified that I had seen everything and stopped all contact.
I told him that we were done, that I could not do this anymore, but I'm still here. Like an idiot!!!
I can't afford to divorce him, the house is his and he will fight to keep every penny.
Our youngest now has 2 chronic conditions as a result of the illness she had in the summer and I really don't know what to do.

OP posts:
BifsWif · 28/11/2018 22:19

He can fight all he wants, he’s not entitled to keep every penny.

Please get some legal advice and make plans to leave him. You deserve happiness x

MissedTheBoatAgain · 29/11/2018 00:20

I can't afford to divorce him, the house is his and he will fight to keep every penny

The house may be in Husband's name, but if bought after marriage it will almost certainly be classed as marital asset and jointly owned.

Sounds like you are the weaker earner. That being the case and you end up looking after the Children (which sounds likely from your post) please don't just roll over and give in to bullying.

Seek advice to ensure your receive your fair entitlement. If you can't afford Legal Advice speak to a Solicitor about a Legal Services Order. Courts can issue such order so that the financially stronger partner pays the other's Legal Costs.

Might sound silly that one pays the other's costs, but any financial help provided will be taken into account when final settlement is made. If both partners are upfront then two good solicitors should be able to work out a fair settlement without the need to involve Courts.

If one, or both, makes the Divorce a contest then be prepared for a long drawn out and expensive process as Courts seem to be overloaded.

Good luck

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