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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Abusive ex

7 replies

Hardtocope1 · 26/11/2018 14:30

Recently separated, my choice, due to ongoing issues with alcohol and gambling and mental health. He won’t acceot this and is sending abusive messages which have been threatening at time. He’s now demanding one of the family cats and says he is coming to get it this week. Both cats were rehoused by me, insured by me and chipped and registered to me at my home but I am so worried he is going to turn up and cause a huge scene in front of the kids where I will be painted as the bad guy. I’m reporting the messages to the police but wondered if anyone else has had to do this what difference it made and how the hell we can sort contact. Spending each night on edge constantly anxious waiting for the next barrage.

OP posts:
MissedTheBoatAgain · 27/11/2018 02:00

The police may issue a PIN and instruct your ex to stay away?

snowqu33n · 03/12/2018 00:21

If the cat is registered to you then it’s theft. Don’t stand for it, if he turns up call the police. Abusers often target pets. Keep the cats indoors for a while.

TweetieFruFru · 03/12/2018 00:42

How is it theft when all assets are joint? I’m not on his side....just saying.

snowqu33n · 03/12/2018 04:37

People are allowed to keep their personal belongings surely- or is he entitled to half her cocktail dresses too? Anyway she is the primary caregiver so the best he can ask for is shared custody of the cat, which given the nature of cats isn’t in the cat’s best interests, surely? Why only one of the cats, anyway? Surely she can log it with the police if he comes to the property for the purposes of abducting a cat without agreement.

blackcat86 · 03/12/2018 05:21

Legally cats are considered wild animals so he cannot steal the cat (unlike dogs who are legally considered property) but he shouldn't be sending you abusive messages so the police should be able to help with latter. Keep the doors locked and on the chain (if you have one) or change the locks if he has a key.

TweetieFruFru · 03/12/2018 08:10

It’s interesting about personal property. The law just seems to be that everything is joint. He might want to take her dresses to sell them and she could sell his guitar collection or whatever he has that he thinks is his. I think it’s a revolting law but it seems to be the case.

Snowwontbelong · 03/12/2018 08:12

Actually a cat isn't a wild animal.
Unless op has 'pet' lions?

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