Neither partner will be asked questions at the FDR if they have counsel. Counsel for the applicant will make a statement and outline what they are seeking as settlement. Counsel for the respondent will then make their statement. Judge (who should have read the Form E's beforehand) will make an initial assessment. The 2 parties and their counsel will then leave the room to discuss what has been recommended by the Judge and hopefully make an agreement.
The FDR is a without Prejudice hearing. Logic is that as it is not binding and can not be repeated in any future hearings or submissions to the court it encourages the two partners to be upfront.
If your Ex can afford to pay your fees in addition to his own maybe you can apply for a LSO (Legal Services Order). It might sound silly that one pays the other's legal costs, but logic is that if both receive good advice (and listen to what they have heard) a settlement can be achieved without the need to involve courts. Any financial assistance provided by one of the parties will be reflected in the settlement so that the paying partner does not end up paying twice.
All sounds great, but;
Based on comments made by Legal on another thread FDR's are often rushed through in a few minutes. One legal person stated that FDR's are being booked at the rate of 3 per hour. No way can a Judge read all the information and make an meaningful recommendation in that time.
Happened to me. Had maximum 10 to 15 minutes of Judge time. Judge made a totally stupid recommendation. I was to be penniless and liable for a lifetime of maintenance. My Barrister was astonished and even Ex's Barrister told her that it was wrong.
Sadly Ex hung on to the FDR for dear life and ignored all subsequent offers to settle as convinced herself that Judge at Final Hearing was obliged to repeat what had been recommended by Judge at FDR. Her solicitor even quoted what the Judge recommended to the court in subsequent submission for MPS and LSO in total violation of the Family Procedure Rules.
Final outcome was a Final Hearing that took place 5 months later. Thankfully the Judge at the Final Hearing knew something about the Law and made a decision that reflected Ex's needs as opposed to their greed. Ex was awarded less than I had offered over a year earlier as Judge awarded my costs on the basis that Ex had refused fair offers without reason.
At the time it made me laugh that Ex was worse off, but upon reflection I would have rather seen the money go to Ex and Child as opposed to Legal costs as total cost to myself was the same regardless.
My recommendation is that you and Partner try to settle amicably. By now you should have exchanged Form E's. If the solicitors you have already used are any good they should be able to suggest what is a fair settlement. However, if you partner is one of those:
"I must win at all costs" bighead (like mine)
then unlikely that courts can be avoided which guarantees only two things:
Lots of stress
Lots of costs
On the plus side courts have the power to award costs against either partner if they conclude they have been obstructive.
Good luck.