We’ve been married 35 years but I just can’t continue. He is 67 years old and very controlling. I am 57 and we have a 15 year old DD with mental health issues. The situation at home is really difficult as he blames me for poor parenting such as never settting boundaries etc for her issues-currently failing to go to school. I feel that both me and DD would be better without him even though that would leave me alone to cope with DD. Although I feel I am coping alone now just with him thrown in to add more problems. I believe my DD anxiety levels would reduce if he wasn’t there but she is also very controlling of me so could I cope on my own. Husband would become very nasty if I told him I was leaving and would blame DD making her anxiety worse.
I think the only way forward would be for me to find a rental property and then move some stuff gradually- he wouldn’t notice- and then one day when he was out just take DD and leave. I would feel really bad leaving him on his own but want some kind of life for myself even though DD is really difficult to deal with. I can’t leave DD with her dad because they don’t get along at all. I have an older DD at university. Any advice from anyone who has been in similar situation. Sorry for long post but didn’t want to drip feed.