Who should serve the papers?

[Ss770640]

So she left me for her AP. Less than 5 years married. 1 DS who is 5.

I have been the breadwinner but she has also benefited from our time together. Ie no time out or loss of career. In fact she's earned more since we were together.

We bought a house together long before marriage. And one afterwards.

She wants 50% of our pre-marriage home. Which we only lived in for a year as a married couple. But combined we have both lost through drop in value. I have lost £80k. She has lost £20k.

My point is she clearly wants all the profit none of the loss. Even though I can prove my own non-marital contributions far exceeded hers.

I am tabulating everything for discussion.

Does anyone have experience of claiming special circumstance? Ie where you've clearly paid more in before marriage?

And is there any benefit in who served the papers? Just now she's doing nothing. Paying nothing towards joint debt.

Basically she's just waiting for a payout of cash which definitely is not marital. As it was created long before marriage.

I would say if you own two homes together and are both on the mortgage she would at least me entitled to one to live in with your child if she can prove that she can keep up with the mortgage repayments.

Or most likely if you were to sell then I imagine if you kept one for yourself and sold the other she’d probably get the equity from this. I doubt any court would make you sell both as you both could have one each and would be fair. But if you did sell both and you were both on the mortgage for the pre marital home then yes it would be likely that 50/50 would be the starting point from each of the sale.

As for serving the divorce papers then it doesn’t really matter who does it as it isn’t the reason that affects the choose of the assett split but primarily the needs of the children, then both of you need will come secondary to this. The only benefit you can have to this is to go to a solicitor first get advice and be ahead of the negotiations.

As for the debt, if it is in joint names then you are both liable but usually this will be deducted from any sale of the assists so a clean break is more doable.

Sorry just another thought, did you have anything in writing when you bought the pre marital home? I.e in the sale or break up of the relationship you’d each get back the percentage you put in? This is what a friend of mine did when she bought with her partner but not married

1. The second home is in another country. It's in negative equity. Joint names.

1. Other property pre marriage. Lots of bank statements proving what I put in.

My pre marriage property was bought with a huge personal and substantial injury insurance payout.

She currently pays for her own rental and effectively lives with affair partner.

To be honest I doubt they’d make you sell that if it’s in negative equity, they may postpone it for five or so years to build it up or just award it to one of you although i’m guessing neither of you want to permanently live it in so I guess that complicated things.

Have you spoken to a solicitor about the ore marital home? If so what have they advised? Have you got 50/50 custody? As custody arrangements will affect the split of that house and the child needs comes first.

We are 50/50 at the moment. I always want to see my boy.

My real question is, is there any advantage to who serves the papers?

I guess that papers need to be agreed upon before a judge reads them.

No, there is no advantage nor disadvantage in being the one who serves the papers, other than being more in control of the timing.

No not really any benefit, you do have an advantage of timing. Are you planning on divorcing quickly? My husband left me for his AP and he won’t divorce on aldutry or ub so my solicitor wrote to him saying that we agree to divorce after two years but he is to cover costs.

You may be in a better position to draw up with a solicitor a deed of separation, you could get ahead of this by ‘leading’ the negotiations, as long as they are reasonable and fair, she may be difficult or she may propose slightly different things but it’s a lot easier than going through court etc.

But other than to be in control a little more then there really isn’t any benefit at all.

Have you been separated long? I find rushing into divorce each party fight over what they want when it’s still so fresh. After a few months when it becomes more amicable and maybe even more friend-like then it is easier to discuss and negotiate with each other rather than to and froing between one another’s solicitor.

Wish you the best of luck.

Most people let the Court serve the papers, via the post. If she hasn’t returned them in the time allocated, you can apply for Bailiff Service through the Court. Once the Bailiff has served the papers, you can apply to the Court for “deemed service” and then apply for Nisi.

I can’t help on the property though. If you paid for it with such a large sum, did you put it in Trust?