confused about contact

[sadwithkiddies]

husband left 6 weeks ago and is asking me to divorce him as i have grounds to do so and he doesn't.

When children have overnight contact is it normal to send clothes back and fore? so far i have been packing a bag for the little ones to take - but now i think maybe i'll just give a 'starter pack' of say 5 outfits to leave at dads, I'm fed up of packing nice clean clothes and having a bag of dirty clothes returned like i'm the laundry maid. i also pack nappies and toiletries etc.......what normally happens?

I also pay for all childcare while children are at dads - is this normal? (I pay termtime only childcare to wrap around school hours)

as it is halfterm this week and no school - dad told me he was expecting to bring children back to me in the morning ready for the day instead of taking them to school/childcare!.....when I queried this he said his job was work - mine was taking care of the children.
He refused to back down until i phoned the mediator and asked them to call him to negotiate....but he still thinks I am being unreasonable to ask him to have the children on his normal days during half-term.

so during holidays he now expects me to organise/pay all childcare - while I think when the children are due to be with Dad it is surely his responsibility - what do you all think?

I used to send clothes with the dc but stopped for precisely your reason, i gave him a bag with 3 full changes of clothes for his house and said that as they grow he is now responsible for replacing the clothes at his house. Nappies and toiletries should also be provided by dad for when they are with him. Childcare, whilst the children are with their dad it is his responsibility to pay for childcare, so if he has them from Mon school pick up and you collect them on Wed at school pick up he is responsible for sourcing and paying for childcare between these times and that means during holiday time he either uses annual leave or pays for a holiday club.
I think you need a very carefully worded contact order detailing all of what you have written, your job may have been looking after the children whilst he worked but that was when you were married, you are not together any more.

Everything is 50/50. End of.

I have my own clothes for him likewise my STBXW.

We have clothes at ours for DSD; it does become complicated with DD coming to us in school uniform and going back in our clothes or her mum wanting the clothes she came in back but never sending ours back but if you’re ok with clothes going back and forth then I’d either do what you’ve suggested or let me know in advance that you aren’t sending anything.
Same with toiletries and nappies.
If I were you it’s drive me slightly crazy to pack and unpack for them each weekend