How did you tell him it was over?

[Mmmmdanone]

I need to tell my H that our marriage is over. I just can't figure out how or when to do it. We are never alone. At least one child is always in the house. I know he will take it badly- shouting, possible aggression. I know this as I've broached the subject before and backed down due to his reaction. I know he will not agree to move out. I keep putting it off for these reasons. Has anyone any advice?

I'm in a similar situation, so was hoping someone would come along with advice... from what I've heard, it's best to keep your statement brief and direct, but don't take the bait with explaining each detail.

Good luck and I'd like to know how you get on?

My husband is a drunk and wouldn’t discuss anything about his alcoholism or our marriage......I couldn’t live like that any longer and told him he’d have to leave......his answer was “you’ll have to give me £2500 as that’s what I’d need to get somewhere else”........ if he’d spent less on alcohol he’d have money to save!
I removed his front door key whilst he was in the shower and after he left for work, I removed his belongings from the home.......not the most ideal way to terminate a relationship but I had to look after my mental health.....

Thanks both. Yes, it will be hard to keep it brief. I also keep changing my mind and thinking how sad the kids will be. It's not awful- just not what I want in a marriage. But I lie awake at night feeling depressed that I can't get out of it without so much upset.

Tell someone in real life.
Ask someone to look after the kids.
Collect,copy all documents and put them somewhere safe,not in the house.
Have someone else there when you tell him if he is likely to be aggressive.
Report all threats aggression to police or keep diary.
Call woman's aid before you tell him.
Your kids will already have pick up on stuff.
I think you will eventually be sure you have to go si be prepared,give yourself a choice.

I text my H one day to say we needed to talk about us the next evening after DC were in bed. It committed me to the conversation so I couldn't bottle out for another week (month/year), but also gave him a heads up that something serious was coming, rather than me trying to squeeze it into another conversation somehow. Good luck OP, it sounds like the right decision for you. Definitely keep a record of his bad behaviour and if it's aggressive, report it.

Go and rent. Move out.