Hello,
I guess this has been asked before so if you could point me in the right direction I'd be greatful.
The children had their first supervised contact this week, my ex is a bipolar alcoholic with a side order if self harm, manipulation, gaslighting and that one where they blame everyone else because it's our/my fault because we drive them to drink.
I have to handle questions from the kids and I don't want to answer in a toxic way, mainly because I'm carrying a crap tonne of internalised resentment and I find myself saying. We'll talk about it when your older, ignoring it completely or starting to say something and then stopping because I catch myself about to be bitter and inappropriate.
I dunno what to do it who to ask for help, the kids have been in emotional meltdown since and I don't know what I should do? I know I won't be able to engage in a reasonable conversation with my ex and I'm quite weak and easily manipulated, which doesn't help. And then I get frustrated angry when I realise I've been gaslighted yet again.
So what should I do? My gut is telling me not to talk to the kids at all and stick my fingers in my ears and go lalala - but that's not right.
Thanks for understanding