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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Breaking up in mid 20s, own a flat together

1 reply

Georgiedoyle92 · 26/10/2018 21:41

Hi all, looking for some advice and hopefully support. I am 26 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and we bought our own flat a couple of years ago. At the time friends warned me that buying so young wasn’t a good idea as relationships can obviously change quite a lot and of course buying with someone is a big commitment. He is a good boyfriend and a nice person but over the past few months I have realised that I am just not in love with him and haven’t been for some time. I think I have been denying this to myself for a good while because I want this not to be the case - as I’ve said he is a nice and kind person and would make a good dad one day, and part of me thinks I take for granted these qualities. However, it’s got to the point now where I feel myself bristling when somebody innocently and casually refers to me as his ‘mrs’ and I feel uneasy and dishonest when talking about him as someone that I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I understand that the honeymoon stage doesn’t last forever and that relationships can become boring as we become familiar with our OH but this is more than that. I just want to live an honest life even if it’s one that is more difficult financially. Not sure what I’m expecting anyone to say other than has anyone been in this situation at a similar age, and how have you navigated it? If we didn’t live together or didn’t own our house things would be easier, but if I was honest with him it would mean continuing to live here and putting the house on the market together and seeing each other every day for the next god knows how many months. I don’t have family or any really close friends nearby who I could stay with unfortunately.

OP posts:
Viletta · 27/10/2018 21:24

Hi, I was in a situation similar to this, living with a very nice boyfriend for 3 years, he was amazing, but I realized I wasn't in love and didn't want to marry him. We split up when I was 25, I met another man couple of years later whom I knew I wanted to marry straight away. Now 7 years later I still love him very much. You are very young and don't need to feel like you sacrifice yourself for the flat. You don't have children, selling the flat won't be that difficult, you will get your money back too. Maybe take a break for a couple of weeks and see how you both feel? Good luck!

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