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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Scared of making a hideous mistake

4 replies

maisiemackenzie · 25/10/2018 11:42

I could really do with some advice..

So H decided that he no longer loves me and after about 9 months of torture where I begged him to try and work it out, he moved out in March as a trial separation.
This was supposed to be for 6 months but in June he told me by text message that he wasn't coming back.

So we have been together for 17 years, married for 13. We have 4 children, one of whom has a disability. I have been a SAHM pretty much always but managed to get a part time job cleaning since he moved out.

H has a professional career but is working part time at the moment, he says in order to be there for the kids but essentially just a lifestyle choice.

So he would have it that we have the kids 50 50 but I feel that this is really motivated by the fact that he doesn't want to pay me any money. He has been paying the mortgage since he ended things in lieu of child support but he is really mad about this because it is more money than he can really afford as he is working part time and paying quite expensive rent on his new house.

I started seeing a solicitor who very much told me not to take over paying the mortgage, but H keeps threatening to stop.. which would put me in the position of having to file for divorce and go quickly to court over it.

I guess my hesitation is that if he is court ordered to pay the mortgage, he will have to work full time again and I will be completely on my own with the kids and struggle to ever have a life or career for myself due to Dds disability..

Also obviously court could not go my way and he get 50 50?

But if I accept taking over payment of the mortgage am I going to regret it in some way? He is offering to pay me £350 a month child support for now if I do take over mortgage which is about double that?

Sorry if I'm missing stuff out.. I'm a lurker not a poster usually!

I would just really appreciate some advice..

OP posts:
florafawna · 25/10/2018 12:30

Take your solicitor's advice!

NorthernSpirit · 25/10/2018 12:34

In order to remain in the FMH you would need to satisfy a judge that you could afford the mortgage, so yes, you should pay it yourself. It’s upto you how you spend CM.

lifebegins50 · 25/10/2018 21:26

A judge would look at what assets are available and realistic opportunity for both parties to work to support themselves.

The children's ages are relevant.

It isn't just the mortgage but the equity in the house, you will need to resolve this.

maisiemackenzie · 26/10/2018 10:48

Thanks for the replies. Kids are 15, 11, 9 and 5. It's the 11 with the disability that will make her unlikely to leave home in a typical way. House is worth something in the region of £300 k and half is equity half still to pay.

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