Inspiring books about getting through divorce

[desanto]

Am three weeks in to this strange and horrible new world of separation and days like today I'm finding it hard to believe I'll survive (allow me a bit of melodrama..). I'm thinking what might help is some inspirational literature - fiction or non-fiction - about divorce and the good things that might await on the other side. I'd take even very minor victories right now!

So sorry you are having to go through this.

I'm only 3 months in so not much further on than you but my sister bought me a great book called 'Breaking Upwards' You can dip in and out, there's short chapters on different thoughts so it doesn't take too much concentration. There are also some exercises to do to help you address your feelings etc.

Some bits I am not ready for yet - One part is about letting go of grievances and although I understand the thinking and will come back to it in a few months, I don't feel like I can let go of grievances whilst he is still doing new thoughtless, cruel stuff on a regular basis. Once the finances are settled and we're divorced and I can cut contact to an absolute minimum I will look at that section.

It's been really good at helping me take a positive approach to supporting the children. Unfortunately it would be a lot more helpful if STBXh read it and followed some of that advice but that would never happen.

Thanks @disk sorry to hear you're in the same boat. I actually spotted Breaking Upwards the other day and have been dipping in and out. It's sensitive but straight talking and is helping me see both of our roles in the events leading to the separation rather than blaming him for springing this one me (pity I can't say the same for H). We're moving towards telling DD so it'd been helpful in that regard to, although the prospect of negotiating residency kills me..

Thanks for the recommendation.

Fiction wise, I feel like there must be loads of stuff out there. I read a lot and am sure I have read fiction in the past along these lines but it was before I realised it would ever be relevant to me so I haven't noted titles! I remember reading 'The Break' by Marion Keyes for book club but can't remember if they get back together at the end (completely not going to happen in my case).

I did watch 'Finding your feet' on Amazon prime on Sunday afternoon, which ironically was one of the last films I watched at the cinema with STBXH. Weird to think he must have been sitting next to me identifying with the lying, cheating husband in the film! Not quite my age range but is a nice gentle film about refinding yourself and moving on.

I think lots of fiction tends to be along the lines of finding someone new and better. I don't know about you but I would rather read about characters who learn to be happy with themselves at the moment.

Will keep an eye on this thread in case anyone else has better suggestions.