Hi lovely people of mums net. I've posted on here before and got some excellent advice and a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes I just need to get things off my chest and hear from people that have been in the same situation.
Basically me and my husband had been together for 14 years, married for 5 and have a 4 year old son together. I had my suspicionse earlier in the year that he was having an affair and this was confirmed when I caught him over her house back in April. I threw him out of our house (which we have a mortgage) and he rented a room in a house round the corner from us. He has said he was sorry in a round about way (in a txt) but then continues to say I never realised how unwanted I made him feel !!! And he needed to speak to someone...hence the OW at work who was single and 10 years younger which he has continued to be with and start a new life with.
He changed when we had our son. We both worked full-time in good jobs with comfortable income between us. I felt when our son was born my life changed over night whilst he went about his daily business like nothing had happened. Full-time work which was long hours and then the gym 4/5 nights a week that was always 2 hours. I felt like I was bringing our child up on my own. He said he was suffering from depression and in hindsight I think this was a cover up story for what was really going on. I think he couldn't deal with the responsibility of a child or how to be a dad. I tried to help him but I couldn't make him be my husband or his father, that was something he would have to do on his own.
At times I feel scared to be on my own but many people have told me I was doing it already without even realising it. I can only be the best parent I can be and hope he matches me. Since he has left he has seen our son from school one evening then drop him bk the following morning. This really upsets me as he deserves more than a few hours of someone's time let alone his dad. At the start our son used to ask where he is but now he doesn't seem bothered. His dad doesn't contact in between visits and that makes me angry too, he will occasionally text and ask if he can ring but it will be at 21:00 when he's asleep in bed. Now he wants him to go to fireworks do at his mum n dads and the ow has been invited..alongside me. I don't think his parents realise how much this still hurts me. I'm told I should just move on and at least it's all out in the open. I'm so glad other people feel that way but I'm supposed to eat that shit sandwich and say how nice it was!
My main reason for this post is I'm finding it hard to let him go and move on. I loved this man and put him on a pedal stool for far too long. I don't like the idea of this ow meeting our son or having any part in his life. I don't want to pick the pieces up again when I'm still trying to sort my own feelings out. I feel like I have been replaced and I'll admit I don't like it.