I'm currently day 2 into a break up, and questioning if any of this is the right thing or not!
I'll give you some background-
Been with my partner for 5 years, engaged; we've been through a lot and started our family young, we have 2 lovely girls that's are 2 and 3 and are both studying full time at uni, as well as myself working part time.
As you can imagine we've been through a lot from family not supporting us to us living separately while I was in a homeless shelter pregnant with a toddler, it's not always been easy! But we've pulled through.
Now though I don't know what to do, for quite a while I think things have been different, for me anyway, I'm not intimate and have no interest in being (not even a kiss and cuddle)
I'm very distant and although I enjoy our family time and alone time when we are having a laugh at something stupid on tv, I don't seem to engage in much more than that.
I struggle with my mental health a lot and even though I try, I'm super untidy at times.. which affects him who I'm certain has ocd (he will become unable to function thinking about a mark on the wall he knows is there) so you can imagine what it's like when I have a floordrobe in the bedroom or something like that, and this means he can't do whatever work he needs etc.
We sort of fell into this breakup during one of our many recent conversations on just what to do about everything. I told him that if he was a friend I would tell him to move on for his own saike etc, and that the times I'm distant I put it down to stress or tiredness etc but I'm trying to convince myself of that too!
I know how this seems like we just have busy lives, but other factors are things like how I sometimes notice other people. When we were madly in love I'd never have eyes for anyone but him, but I find I see other men/women around that I'm attracted to and imagine myself being with that person physically or whatever, which I don't feel is right.
I'm rambling I know but I just don't know what to think!
Yesterday I cried and was so upset at the thought of it actually being done, today I've been totally fine and smiling while I packed his suitcase adding little treats I know he likes just to make him happy, but I've heard he isn't doing well and I feel so awful. I want to make it better, but does that mean going back?
He's staying with MIL and thankfully we are very close.
Just wish I knew what the right thing to do was!