Does this qualify as stalking?

[beehive20]

Hello

First off I'm a man and a father so I hope you don't mind me being here but I just need to gauge opinion as I have never been in this position ever. I am currently going through a divorce and also a child access case.

I've been visiting my parents a lot with all thats been going on. My ex this week submit to my solicitor and court pictures of my parents house with my car at their property over the course of about three months. Two of the pictures are long distance showing the inside of the house. Essentially trying to incorrectly make out I'm living there.

My ex was very controlling and arguably I went through a lot of mental abuse. I didn't make anything of it because frankly it wouldn't have got me anywhere anyway.

My solicitor is advising this is verging on stalking and I do feel it's very inappropriate to be taking pictures of my parents home and essentially monitoring my movements.
Its a pathetic attempt of continuing the control but it's the fact I'm very uncomfortable with her taking pictures of the inside of my parents house now. I rang the 101 number but they didn't seem interested.

I do have a meeting with CAFCASS next week, should I bring this up with them? I do feel if the shoe was on the other foot I feel the courts, police and CAFCASS would take a dim view of me doing this.

Any thoughts?

Have your parents reported this, it's their house, can they report her for taking photos without their consent and stalking them as well.

Wouldn't your solicitor be able to advise you?

No not yet. Seemingly most photos were taken from the road so on public land hence I believe that is allowed by law although one photo was by the looks of it taken from their neighbours driveway to photograph my vehicle which is a no no as she would have been on private property at that point.

My solicitor is writing to her to in a legal sense which is essentially telling her to back off. On my child access case though I am self representing and I'm wondering if I should inform the courts and cafcass of this.

Her controlling behaviour is a concern to me with my daughters mental health long term but I've had to tread a fine line. I can't just say it without any evidence.

If my solicitor regards this as stalking behaviour then is it with mentioning to cafcass and the courts?

If where you live is an issue in the case she is entitled to evidence gather, as long as she is not bothering anyone (eg knocking on the door, hanging around at all hours filming).
So I wouldn't do anything. You want to keep your powder dry and avoid any accusation that you are hostile. Also let her look desperate that she's turning up to take photos. You have nothing to hide. If it gets worse, fine, but at the moment it wouldn't class as harassment.
Family lawyer btw.

And I wouldn't mention it to CAFCASS. There's a fine line between appearing reasonable and appearing hostile/paranoid.

Thanks.
I just find the process rather perplexing frankly. It's hard to feel how I can be seen as paranoid when my ex is emailing photographs of my car and monitoring my movements.

I guess I may now have to justify to a judge about visiting my own parents. The entire divorce process if frankly not fit for purpose when it comes to controlling behaviour like this.

Is where you are living an issue in either the Hilsden case or the divorce/finances?
If yes and her case is you are lying about where you are living then it's reasonable for her to evidence gather. If no then it's not reasonable.
You are better off letting her make herself look paranoid and unreasonable than complaining and risking looking hostile yourself.

Children not Hilsden!

Why would it matter if you were living with your parents?

To OP

Two years after my Divorce and Ex tapped into my WhatsApp. Sent many photos to new partner to try and upset them.

Some people don't seem to be able to move on in life.

my ex's partner stalked me on here and he sent screen shots into court and to CAFCASS the day before hearing. There was no evidence that the user name they highlighted was mine. So I was very nervous for a long time that he had access to electronic records. What really pissed me off was the court did nothing - didnt even rebuke him. I do agree Family Courts are not ft for purpose.

There was no evidence that the user name they highlighted was mine

Courts can only act on evidence otherwise anybody could accuse anybody of anything. Maybe rejoin under a different username and not give so much detail in threads that Ex's can spot?

You need counter evidence to present if she is using giving proof of where you actually live.

I can't think of any reason it would be bad if you were living at your parents?

Update. I’m divored by consent and I believe the judge controlled the situation well as my living details never arose despite my ex submitting the details which is against protocol. As per ‘shallichangemyusername’ advice I suspect it didn’t please the judge. I went radio silent due to the possibility I’d be monitored on here. Thanks for the advice.

Next problem is the ex appears to have a case of sour grapes as is now failing to respond to any direct email communication regarding the joint requirements outlined via the consent order. Decree absolute is completed.
All I’m getting are third party text messages requesting I relay everything via them which is rediculous.At the moment I can’t afford my legal fees.

Clearly that isn’t a lasting situation seeing as there will have to be a level of communication for the consent order and whatever order will come from the child access which I’m self representing on.

Has anyone got any tips please? Obviously if she clearly breaches then it’s back to court but I’m assuming I’ll have to catalogue the non communication?

Sorry, I mean I don’t wish to incur further legal fees but will self represent if needs be as a breach should be fairly straightforward.

By default non communication I believe would be looked at unkindly by a judge I’ve read. there is no reason we cannot communicate (no orders saying otherwise). I’m only talking communication on basics of the order.

If she has said no communication and offered a third party instead, express your dismay but go along with it. Otherwise (ironically) she could accuse you of harassment and ask the police to warn you.

So play along with it but make it clear you consider it unnecessary and in no way conducive to developing a co-parenting relationship.
The judge will look very dimly on her for this.

My thoughts are that it is an invasion of privacy. You must tactfully bring it up at CAFCASS. If you don’t and her behaviour escalates, you will wish you had. I would also bring emails which have been ignored and ask CAFCASS to advise you both. The judge won’t take kindly to parents being difficult when it comes to contact with children. Whatever you do though, stay calm, be polite and respectful. Highlight your desire for children’s well being as opposed to making it all about ex. Courts really only care about well being of children. They will after a contact order. Also ask for a plan ie what is acceptable for lateness, or unavoidable cancelled visits, otherwise you will find yourself back to square one. Get this all agreed now. That way ex can’t say, your 5 minutes late so you’re not having the children. Or repeatedly make excuses for you not having them. Also don’t discuss money. Courts hate that. It’s got to be all about the children. Best of luck