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Divorce Buddies

5 replies

BundyLancroft · 09/10/2018 16:05

I have filed my petition and waiting for him to acknowledge service, but he is going to see a solicitor first. I am going to try and do this on my own, but I don't know what I am doing. I am quite resourceful so hopefully it will all go OK.

I don't really have friends or family whom I can confide in or seek support from, and I know it is going to be difficult and stressful. STBXH is an arse and causes me regular stress over child contact and maintenance.

Anyone else going through the same thing and want to be my divorce buddy/ies for mutual support? Smile

OP posts:
butterfly56 · 09/10/2018 17:13

I'm not going through same thing OP but when I was quite a few years ago I used wikivorce website and managed to do all my own paperwork including getting fees paid due to low income.
It's well worth joining as you can get a step by step guide on how to do stuff also ask questions with some very knowledgable people.

I'm sure someone will be along soon who may be in the same situation at the moment. Flowers

BundyLancroft · 09/10/2018 18:43

thanks butterfly . I have found that website and might use them for the consent order. Thing is, I don't know yet how much advice I am going to need, because although we agreed to divorce amicably with a clean break and no split of any assets or pensions, he has gone a bit psycho on me lately and I don't know if the whole thing is going to be aggro or OK. I hate having so little control over things.

I am now unsure if he will even agree what he agreed to before, which was 2 years separation and consent. He mentioned using adultery against me the other day because I had a night out with friends Hmm

OP posts:
butterfly56 · 09/10/2018 23:45

Yep there is always a chance that they will not to stick to what is agreed
Same thing happened to me.
I ended up going no contact with him because he was just being a complete arsehole.
We had initially agreed a 2year separation....
But the fact that he started being such a nasty piece of work fired me up to actually start the ball rolling. So I filed for divorce citing his unreasonable behaviour...I self represented until the first financial hearing to save on solicitors fees and spent most of my free time on wikivorce getting clued up on the whole process.

We could not do mediation because there was domestic violence from him. So we could not be in the same room. he was giving the mediator a hard time as well.
So then the Court process began and it went to a final hearing where the judge ordered him to pay me the money with 14days and interest would be added for every day that he was late. He was 3days late and had to pay the interest.
Best thing to do is limit the contact to emails. No phone calls. Send him an email saying that you are only going to communicate through emails.

It's very difficult to try and remain calm when they start with the crazy making behaviour.

He can't use adultery because you had a night out with friends.
Just keep a record of any of the communications like this as proof of his intimidation.

Also you can ask for mediation to sort out financial stuff. It's a lot cheaper than a solicitor.
Just make sure that you have all your paperwork in order regarding assets and liabilities.

Stay strong Bundy you can do this Flowers

BundyLancroft · 13/10/2018 09:19

that's really useful info, thanks butterfly

I try and limit comms to texts. It keeps things calmer. It's when he picks and drops off DS for his contact time that I get subjected to verbal abuse sometimes. Not always. Because he is Jekyll and Hyde. We rarely phone unless there is a DS emergency.

Since my post, he has seen sense and returned the court papers. So it looks like the 2 years separation will work. He was arsey because I ticked the box asking for him to pay the costs.
He had said he'd pay the court fee, then later refused saying he hadn't. But anyway, I applied for fee remission.

OP posts:
BundyLancroft · 13/10/2018 09:20

I don't know what step is next. I guess I wait to hear from the court?

OP posts:
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