Xmas arrangements - separated family - AIBU

[BrightonTony]

So I normally use Mumsnet to try and get a view on how mum's see thins but now I'd like to ask your advice if I may?

Separated from wife in April (relationship ended about sept last year). Almost 50/50 access (6 days a fortnight with me). DD's 6 & 10.

We don't have a written parenting or access agreement and sometimes we manage things amicably and sometimes she just tells me how it's gonna be.

For Xmas she just decided she was going to have the kids. Fine. Someone has to have first xmas. It's a bit miserable but that's separation ¯\(ツ)/¯

However she's now saying "it's only fair" that I have them for NYE.

Am I being unreasonable to think she's taking the Mick out of me? That she wants it all her way? That she wants the kids for cute Xmas days and then a babysitter for NYE?

Should I just man up and say "it's one of those things"?

Surely if she gets Christmas this year, you get Christmas next year (and vice versa for NYE?)

Maybe make a formal agreement about it now....

i think i would be pointing out to her that whatever arrangements are made this year, you expect the same in reverse next year.

Yeah. I'm probs a bit mardy and bitter about her calling the shots and telling me what I can and can't do - so she can have better time than me.

Bigger picture is it'll all even itself out over time.

I probably just need to man up!

Myself and my exh do alternate xmas and new year. This year i will have them for xmas, him new year and next year we swap. It works well even though i wish that he didnt have them for xmas day.