Solicitor together?

[Ilovebolly]

Told H yesterday that I want to separate. Went as well as could be expected. We want to keep things as amicable as possible so he has suggested going to a solicitor together to discuss arrangements regarding kids, money etc. Can anyone advise if this is a good idea, or should we have separate solicitors? We’re both adamant not to go the court route and to keep things fair for everyone, but mainly the kids. Thanks

Absolutely not, a solicitor acts for only one client I'm afraid and could not act for the both of you for the divorce. You would either need to both seek separate representation or just one of you has the solicitor and the other not. I'd suggest very much seeking your own independent legal advice. HTH x

A lawyer is unable to represent you both, conflict of interest. You will each need your own.

Having said that I had an initial consult with my now EXh just for an overview of what on earth do we do now

You need separate solicitors to give you advice but there is no reason why you cannot be amicable. Myself and my ex wrote our own consent order for finances and kids, i even showed him the reasons for petition prior to submitting it. The solicitor was there just for legal advice so i was aware that i knew what i was consenting too. Neither of us went to court and a judge was happy to sign the consent order. I did however make it abundantly clear to exh at the beginning that if he was not transparent with everything i would be instructing my solicitors to go for the maximum rather than the 55/45% we had agreed ourselves.

It’s callled a conflict of interest.

You need different solicitors each. Get your own op, and if you would like it amicable I suggest talking it out with your h, then reaching a compromise. But be warned, it may end up not amicable as you may not agree with everything.
Best of luck

Ok, thanks for the advice. I will broach it with H that we need separate solicitors but hopefully we can both still keep things amicable!

Have a look at amicable. They helped keeping my divorce amicable but on track.

I'm using a collaborative solicitor resolution.org.uk. STBEX had to find another one who was also collaborative and then we all meet together a few times. I've only had one meeting so far and it's a very horrible situation but I am determined we have to finish up amicable for the children. It means you don't end up communicating through letters and arguing endlessly about every point.

I don't think it's any cheaper than the 'normal' route but the first meeting certainly seemed less confrontational and battle like than I expected.

As there are pensions and share options to consider and I am by far the lower earner due to having taken career breaks, I didn't feel like I was happy to just make our own agreement or use mediators. I feel better knowing there is someone on my side, ensuring the settlement is fair but this way it should be fair for both of us and it's quicker and less acrimonious.

The only thing is that you have to be able to still trust one another to a certain extent which I am struggling with. STBEXH is currently being reasonable about finances though (if nothing else!)

Just spoke to the solicitor that I plan to use. It looks like the collaborative approach will work best for us. Will have to tell H that I’m seeing the solicitor next week which may be difficult for him to hear but everyone is currently in best behaviour as he’s still living with us for another couple of weeks so hopefully he will take it all as well as can be expected.
Thanks so much for all the helpful advice so far...I’ve a feeling I may be asking lots more in the next wee while!!