Someone offer some advice please.

[cathyc85]

So basically I really need some advice.
I’m currently 5 months pregnant and I have a four year old. I recently split with my partner as he didn’t want this baby and ordered me to leave the family home if I didn’t get an abortion. So I left and we homeless I went and sofa surged for 2 months trying to get my council to help me with temporary accommodation. After 2 months they offered me somewhere 2 hours away from my family in a town that I’ve never been to and most importantly away from my family and my support network. I was scared I didn’t want to take my son out of his school and I didn’t want to be giving birth alone without my family close for support. I refused the accommodation and was advised to go back to the family home as it’s a joint tenancy and I have rights he can’t kick me out. So as much I didn’t want to I went back to the property my ex said he now wants to know the baby and make a go of things but his not changed and life is hell living with him he has said yet again I should go but I’m refuse to leave as I know my only option would be to leave my family and what my son knows around us. I’ve asked him to leave as he works and he could go rent or go stay with him mum as she has a spare room but he refuses he just wants to make my life hard and it’s not fair to my son or with my pregnancy it’s goving me terrible anxiety and I just feel so defeated. Please has anyone ever been through this and can offer some advice? Can I get him out the flat? He said if I take him to court the judge will let him keep the flat as it’s not big enough for another child but he we have been given permission to transfer but he refuses to get a bigger place because he is selfish and says he don’t like change. Please any advice is welcome.
Thank you

Have you spoken to the council about this? I assume it's a council or Housing Association property because you mention getting a transfer?

There are some HA who will always try to help the Mother in situations like this. he doesn't want to leave because it's secure but he's being an arse.

Has he ever been violent?

You would NOT be thrown out if you went to court over this....doesn't matter how big it is they will always put children's wellbeing first and if you're their main carer then you should stay where you are.

Thank you for replying.
It is a council property and they have said that I would need to go to court to have him evicted but his made me nervous about doing this as he said the judge will laugh and not help me.

His never been physically violent to me but he has been mentally abusive over the years I did speak to someone in women’s aid that did say what his doing is emotionally absuive it took me a while to except that as I always thought of myself as a strong women but when she explained that his very manipulative and controlling in what he dose it did make me look at him in another way. But I thought if I came back after being gone for 2 months he might change but clearly not and I don’t want him heat any more he won’t help me financially he expects me to cook his dinners and do his washing but won’t help me buy his food when his the one who works, he expects me to survive off my child benefits and tax credits. I feed myself and my son I basically live like a single mum. When his at work and it’s just me and my son it’s lovley as soon as his due in from work my stomach just turns and I dread it the atmosphere isn’t nice and weekends I find myself trying to go out and visit family to spend the least amount of time around him as possible so my sons not around the atmosphere of it. I guess I need to seek legal advice?

I would go and get some advice. A friend of mine was in a similar situation and got a non molestation order, where her ex had to stay away from her - and therefore the house. She didn't have to pay either - but I'm not sure of her financial situation.

The judge will NOT laugh. As the main carer for the children, you will have priority. They care about the children's safety and security.

The emotional abuse will be enough to get him kicked out.

Call SHELTER immediately. You may have to keep trying as they are overworked and understaffed but they are very good. Also CAB. They're the same...you might have to wait to get an appointment but do it!

Come back here regularly and we will keep you going.xx

Thank you so much for your reply’s. Also thank you AJaslipstick advising me to come back here for support has really touched me got me emotional but I think the pregnancy hormones done help but jokes a side I feel like I have no one to turn to except my mum and she’s 71 I don’t really like to worry her with my problems. Thank you both I will let you know how I get on.

Good! What's your plan of action then? Do you think you could call Shelter and CAB today?