Filed for divorce - what happens next?

[numbbrain]

I filed for divorce about a month ago.

STBXH received and returned his papers. Now wondering what happens next - do we hear nothing until the decree nisi?

Will I get a copy of what he has filled in?

Just wondering

MissedTheBoatAgain - where does OP mention her children?

On another thread.

Anyway children over 18 if financially dependent are relevant although may no longer be the first consideration

Not according to the Judge at my Final hearing. Ex argued that she needed enough money for a three bedroom house. One each for herself, son aged 10 and daughter aged 22. Judge discounted the daughter immediately on fact she was overt 18.

I'm really hoping it doesn;t go to court, but given the size of his final salary pension and the fact he earner 10 times what i earn and I have a minute pension, I don;t think it unreasonable for me to have 100k more than him out of the settlement.

The children (although over 18 and all at uni) will be living here in the holidays for the next 4 years (1 has 5 years)

Thankyou for the info familylawsolicitor.

To Numbbrain

Don't forget that courts will cost you big time. Possible that courts award you more than Ex is offering at moment, but after you subtract the court costs you may not be any better off?

Yes, that's always the issue. My lawyer said if we went to court the division of assets between us could have been between about 39% and 60%. So you take the difference between those sums and you settle in most cases as it's much better the other spouse has the money than lawyers. You look at how much difference there is between the two positions and you look at what the litigation costs and risks are.

numb £100k does not sound huge but I would start by ignoring the pension of his and then divide the assets after deduction of both your debts between you and see what 50/50 looks like, then add on a pension sharing order on his pension (that is not cash just pension you get at pension age). He might be happy to go above 50% to buy out your claims on his pension and to buy out any say 5 year spousal maintenance claim. My ex got 59%, I earned 10x what he did althoughw e both worked full time and had similar pensions and that large percentage he got also bought out his spousal maintenance for life claims (and this was our agreement then approved by the court so no court hearing wasting money - loads of people waste every penny they have on court costs and fees and end up with less than they would have done had they agreed on 50% not 60% so always bear in mind the costs and risks - court is always risky and clear cases often end up going the other way)

Thanks Xenia, thats interesting.

We are trying to come to an agreement and have juggld things to suit, i.e. I have reduced maintenance for more capital etc.

We are trying to come to an agreement and have juggld things to suit, i.e. I have reduced maintenance for more capital etc.

Good to hear that you are attempting to settle without court process. Risk of Courts is not only the cost, but also the possibility that Order is made that neither Partner wanted!

Yes court is very unpredictable and so many people instead think it is some kind of black and white precise science, but instead it's risky as anything and best avoided if you can help it.

Just for an update, the Judge approved the financial consent order for me

So that means you got the higher amount you wanted fishes? If so, congrats!

I got what l wanted and what STBXH and l had agreed. The sticking point was my mum's house because he was entitled to half of my share in it which would have forced me to sell the house to raise capital to give him.

STBXH had agreed to not go after Mum's house as long as l agreed to what he wanted but the risk was that the Judge wouldn't agree.

It was raised when the first Order was submitted in February and they wanted more indepth details.

So overall l did get more if Mum's house is included... but take that out of the equation then it was a pretty much even split.

That sounds okay then and also means the court accepted it which is the main thing. They obviously just wanted a bit of explanation of the original deal to check it was reasonably fair.