Long story short - ex left out of the blue for OW 5 weeks ago. Has been staying with his parents but will be moving into rental with OW and her children this week. Horrible horrible situation.
We have two children 12 and 14. We will be meeting tomorrow with solicitors for first collaborative discussion. The children are top of the agenda.
He has already expressed that he would like to have the children every other weekend plus a night in the week, although he works away quite frequently so this will need to be flexible.
Things I am wondering about-
- If he doesn't get home from work until 6/7 ish and the children go to bed 9.30 on school nights are the midweek nights worth the upheaval? It will mean having to be really organised with school stuff. They will be living 5 miles from school so will need dropping off in the morning. Part of me wants to suggest they go for tea but then come home at bedtime but I guess at some point I may feel glad of the opportunity to go out one evening a week (book club etc)
2. Is it better for the kids if they go when the OW's kids are there or when they are with their father? Her oldest is the same age as my youngest (same school). What normally happens? Part of me thinks may be nicer and more fun for my children if they are all there together but part of me thinks they will get more quality time with their dad if they are the only children there. Also a horrible part of me would enjoy them never having a child free weekend so I am finding it hard to be objective and decide what would be best for the kids (although I doubt I will get much say but it would be good to at least express what I think is best for them)
3. Clothes - should he provide clothes for when they are there! Or will I need to send them every time they go?
Any experiences you can share would be really helpful.