Can you claim back underpaid child maintenance from the last 15 years?

[Fairylea]

I just want to know what the rules are. I’m not sure if this is actually a road I want to go down.

I don’t want to be too outing. Basically dd is now 16, we split up when she was 1 (I left him as he was a terrible partner and dad basically)... her dad has always had a lot of money from his own company but it was the sort of company where he got paid in cash () and I think he wasn’t completely honest about it all. Anyway he sold the company and moved to the USA.

He got married a few years ago to someone who is extremely high earning (think head management of household USA brand). They have two children together and live in a house worth nearly $2m they’ve purchased. I am absolutely certain of the details of this.

He doesn’t work. He is now house husband.

Throughout all this and ever since we split up he pays me £200. We have never gone through court or child maintenance people. It’s a private agreement.

It has come to light that his new children are enjoying a much higher standard of living than my dd ever has and now she is looking forward to going to university etc I feel I have been utterly stupid in not pushing for more money from him. (We aren’t talking just a bit more money, we are talking holidays to Disneyland, Mexico etc etc, private education etc).

(Not that it should matter but by comparison we are very low income, I’ve remarried, dh works full time, low wage, we have a disabled child and we are so poor we lived without lights upstairs for 3 years as the damp in our home was so awful we couldn’t affford to fix it).

So what I’m wondering is should I just leave things and accept that I’m lucky to get the £200 a month?

Or would you try to argue that’s not right somehow...

He would probably say he doesn’t work and has no money of his own. He would also probably say since he has dd for a couple of weeks every summer that this costs a lot of money... (She just literally stays with him in the house, they don’t do anything, because of this she is now saying she doesn’t want to go next year, fair enough).

What would the authorities make of this?

Is there a time limit for backdated claims?

I am just curious about it all. We were never married.

Any advice appreciated.

well if youre paying the ex wife hundreds or even thousands a month, her lifestyle will likely change - no?

why should I (not stepmother) fund that?

I despair I really do. £600 doesn’t even cover the childcare I bill I now have that WE didn’t before he fucked up and off. I can only speak from my experience obviously but you know what I don’t know anyone receiving thousands. Most are just about filling the huge gap left in their finances by their family breaking up. These child support payments aren’t some sort of brucie bonus each month.

And when one finds love and takes on a package deal then one does fund the child of the previous marriages otherwise one is a cnut.

The law is simple. A step parent regardless of of with rp or nots income dosnt count and nor should it.
Yes u support the family, by buying a bigger house, paying half bills including food days out etc. But maintaining the children is for their parents to do as they choose to have children together.
I say that as a parent and step parent

Back to original post. USA law is very different to UK, so it wouldn't hurt you to get some good legal advice.

Ok I’ll rephrase. Maybe if you are able bodied and you have children you should not be allowed to not work and therefore pay hence removing any need for step parent involvement and if you are a step parent that enables that behave which then shafts a child you are a cnut.

Awh fivestar you need to find the bitter ex wives club.

Its not the new gfs fault your ex doesnt contibute enough. Hth.

And calling people cunts left right and centre when theyre not funding your children even though they have no obligation to is why ex wives get a bad name.

Oh absolutely bitter old and twisted, pschyo’s every ex wife around the world. Looking forward to seeing you at a club meeting one day ... when it’s your turn 😜

Im not married and i am not financially reliant on dp so its v doubtful theyll let me in.

You're calling people cunts on the internet - youre not doing a good job of making yourself look reasonable.

I think it's an irrelevant point tbh. The op original post was about her ex, in the USA. USA law is extremely different to the UK, she should seek legal advice. Her ex has paid for sometime as required to support their child and I assume paid for them to visit the USA to maintain contact. If the op dosnt want to seek advice, as their child is getting older perhaps she could ask for a contribution to driving lessons or a mobile phone etc as well as the current 200pcm.

I think your best bet is to discuss how he plans to contribute towards her university fees. If he sold his business it maybe that he has already put some money to one side for her.