Think I’m heading towards divorce for the second time... 😳

[Newhouse76]

It’s a very long story but DD,14 was the child of my arranged marriage when I was very young. It didn’t work out and ex DH returned to his own country.

I married another abusive man - I should have learned - and I’d like to work out where I stand. We lived together for 2 years in a property we both owned. We separated for 2 years, he moved into a property he bought himself with the proceeds of a pre marital house sale

WE decided to get back together and try again, I moved into the new home, paid only a nominal amount to the mortgage as I paid all of the bills, food, holidays etc. Now we are separating - am I right in assuming The new house won’t count for me as I didn’t pay half of the mortgage in the normal way?

Also has anyone been divorced twice ? I’m honestly dying from the shame of it and embarrassed to tell anyone. It’s a big thing in my culture however i cannot put my DD through much more of this

The marriage matters way way more than the mortgage payments. See a solicitor asap, you may well be due 50% of thr property.

You really need a solicitor for this one: how long was your second marriage and do you have children from the second marriage? theoretically all your property is shared but given your long separation that might not be fair for the second home. What are the timelenghts for each bit?

You need to see a solicitor

Thank you all - we married in October 2011 so 7 years almost. We separated for 18 months, reconciling in December 2016.

I have been asked to leave the home and that he will apply for a divorce once I’ve left. I’m reluctant to do that obviously.

There are no children from the second marriage

He will have a responsibility towards homing your daughter

As PP said you are married that's what counts

Get as much paperwork together as you can mortgage bank statements everything

Thank you - I really struggle with bank statements etc as there is only one mail box key and he has it! He keeps any documents he needs to retain in his safe 😳. He harbours an abnormal level of paranoia over his funds

I’m not named on the bills as he didn’t want to show I lived there however I am on the voters roll and council tax now thankfully

No shame in being divorced twice. Twice, three times, who's counting? And, yes you'll be entitled to a share of the house that he owns but see a solicitor before you move out. You need proper legal advice.

Why would the 2nd husband be ‘responsible’ for homing a child from another marriage?

Your marriage would be deemed a short marriage - married for 7 years, but separated for 18 months.

You need legal advice.

I am a family lawyer. As PP say you should consult a Solicitor. This is probably not a 50:50 situation but nor should you receive nothing. It will depend on all the circumstances. Unless it is untenable I wouldn't move out until you have had proper legal advice.

Why would the 2nd husband be ‘responsible’ for homing a child from another marriage?

Your marriage would be deemed a short marriage - married for 7 years, but separated for 18 months.

As ever, Northern, you are unfailingly wrong about family law. The daughter is a child of the family, and her needs (e.g. for housing) take the same priority over those of the adults as they would if she were the biological child of both. The court would have the power to order the stepfather to pay maintenance for her, in an appropriate case.

Why you keep pontificating about divorce when you know so little about it is beyond me.

Also you should register matrimonial home rights with the land registry. Google it - a relatively quick and simple step you can take yourself to protect against him selling the property, pending agreement.

yes Northern is also incorrect on length of marriage - not necessarily a short marriage, 7 years is general deemed medium length marriage.

Thank you for your advice everyone - I must register matrimonial homes rights

I think I should clarify whilst we separated and lived apart for a year and a half, we were only separated for a small part of this time. We got back together but we’re living apart really for around a year till we got back together

I do need to see a lawyer - isn’t there one in London that anyone could recommend?

OP if you message me I can give you a recommendation

I see that Bert and Northern are still the best of friends.

Absolutely no shame in divorce. None whatsoever. Being trapped in a horrible marriage and wasting your life away however...Good luck OP!