Father moved away no full filling parental rights

[Heikeprietz1412]

Hi guys im new to this and you will probably hear loads from me here my todays question. The father of my son (still married) moved 150 miles away to be with somebody else. His family lives there too. My son 6 and myself are completely on us own and he insists he has parental rights but diesnt do anything but has the cheek to prevent me and my son to go on holiday or get a new password. I stopped contact in march due to his mental health and his behaviour towards us when he was around- he was around ones a months for maybe 2-3 hours at the most. I heard he ll now take me to court to see his son which in my opinion is the right thing to do as i believe my son needs a dad but a healthy one which is there not whenever there is time. Does anybody have expierence with this and would a judge see the problem with the distance as he is not willing to mive back to my area even though he split with the new gf. ? Or would a judge acknowledged that the situation here with me on my own no family around but settled in school is not the ideal for a 6 year old? My family lives abroad and it would be easier for me to go back to germany but i feel as a mum that wouldnt be the right thing for my son. Parental rights are nit just rights but you have the duty to fullfill those. I hope that makes sense. Thanks

Don't let him bully you! You don't need his permission to go on holiday, and if the password is yours.....change it! If you fear for your & your child when he is around, the judge will understand x

You do need permission to take you child out of the country, the father still has parental rights. So you need to either get his permission or get a Judges permission. If you do it without this and the father takes you to court it will go massively against you, he might even be given residency of his son.

Its good the father lives closer to his family now, hopefully they will help with any MH issues. If he is seeking contact then let lawyers/courts sort it out, he will probably get to have his son every other week if he wants, 150 miles is is not really an issue.

You need to move on with building your life.

Hey hi thanks for all the answers i couldnt really paint the full picture in my question. I agree with what you said i will not leave the country without permission at all. There is a lot of abuse which i havent mentioned due to his mh so i know im doing the right thing as it needs to be reviewed. I dont agree that 150miles isnt an issue as parental rights tell you exactly what to do and how cn you do that when you are miles away with no means to react also he hasnt got a flat. I ll wait until i hear from the courts and will build my case around it. Thanks again

Yes bring up all the issues of abuse and MH etc in the courts. However it might only be abuse against the child that will be relevant to contact and you do have to prove it. Where any professionals aware of child abuse?
There are a lot of single parents on MN that do visitation involving greater than 150 miles, so it might be an issue for you, not so sure the courts think its relevant to a parent seeing their child.

If he hasn't got anywhere to live then he wouldn't get overnight visitation but he could still have weekend daytime contact. However if he has family there its perfectly acceptably (maybe preferable) for him to say they would be staying with them.

You haven't said what you want, do you want him not have contact with his child? Or only supervised contact?

Hi what i want is a father for my son now issues needs to be addressed i offered many solution none of them fitted him or his new lifestyle. I involved childservices before assessments state that they dont recommend contact unless he is addressing his mental health. Which hasnt happened and its recorded with police etc. The family dont care its too much hassle they want to see my son but wont discuss nothing. . I wanted to go to court but my solicitor told me i cant force anyone to see or make arrangements. The question was more about parental rights and how a judge would take the childs wishes (well i know he is 6) and our circumstances into consideration. My biggest fear is that something happens to me and my son is forced change his life although the father could change his for his sons sake. Dont get me wrong fir me im happy he moved away but i feel its a disaster for my son who is happy here has friends and is settled.

No one can force your ex to want to spend time being a good dad, unfortunately.

Hey thanks i know but here comes the question about parental rights and duties. Money well he started paying cause csa forced it after a year.. but thats not the only duty he has got. I give up there isnt anything i can do.

Neither you nor the courts can change his lifestyle, he is what he is. The child services recommendation is good and probably means the best he would get without addressing his MH is supervised visitation for a few hours, probably in a contact centre or with his family if they are willing.

But I agree with NorthEndGal, why would you take him to court, you cant force a father to do anything. So unless he takes you to court there is no circumstances to take into consideration.

Do you suspect something is likely to happen to you? If something did your child would have to be looked after by his father, unless he refused in which he goes into care. But that is hardly likely, is it?