Really need advice about leaving

[LouiseEmily30]

Hi All,

Never posted on here but I guess im just looking to talk and see if anyone else has any experience in this and can offer me advice. I have no close friends and no one to really talk to.

I think i want to leave my dh. I have recently started to think there is more to life than we have together. I dont feel we have a connection anymore and i just dont feel the same way i used to about him.

I love him but im not in love if that makes sense.

He is a good man and a good dad to our 4 year old ds. Its just not there for me anymore.

I dont know how he feels but if i had to guess i think he still loves me.

I want to have an adult conversation about this but he never talks about problems and im worried about the effect on my son and if separating is my decistion will that go against me if they try and take custody of my ds .... I would want primary custody.

Help me ... how do i approach this .... how has this situation worked for others in this situation

I find myself wishing he would just leave me!

Thank you in advance and sorry for waffaling and my spelling.

It sounds as if you need Relate. Even if he won't come. They are good for helping decide to end, as well as trying to mend.

Thank you. I haven't heard of them so will look into it! Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I just feel so lost

You sound lonely and maybe this os contributing to your unhappiness.

I would always advocate working at issues before leaving as divorce is not an easy path and you need to feel you have tried before giving up on a marriage.

How do you feel in yourself? Are you contented? Happy in your life with work?
No one can be evetything to you so having someone to talk too is important.

How old are you?

Hi life begins at 50.

I am 30 this year. Im so happy when i am outside the home no one would even expect there was a proble.lm
I have always tried to put on a brave face.
I have an excellent career which i enjoy and find i spend more time there.

I dread the thought of coming home and facing up to how miserable i am. I have felt for years i had to stay for my DS sake as i never wanted a broken home for him. I'm just not sure i can.

Like i said my DH is a good man but after 10 years i don't love him like i used to.

To be honest, it sounds to me that you need to work harder.

Relationships don't magically stay fresh and wonderful. We all have periods of feeling "is this it?".

If you have a man who you can see the good in, and with whom you share a child, then you're in a pretty good position to work from.

I’m in the same situation as you,Louise. Stuck between a rock and a hard place to you.

Thank you for your advice MrsBertBibby. It is honestly all appriciated. He is a good man but as much as he is not making me happy i am not making him happy.

daughterofanarchy. Sending you hugs. Its horrible feeling this way. Have you sat down and spoke with your partner at all?

Hi Louise,

Yes it really is an awful feeling living like this.
I have tried talking to him but he just doesn’t get it at all. Then I end up losing my rag and becoming the unreasonable one.
I’ve suffered massively with post natal depression and I blame him for talking me into having this baby - I love him and he really isn’t a terrible man but we have other issues that I can’t see us ever resolving. Heartbroken but what can I do. Hope you find a solution soon.

I'm in the same position. I have a 5 Yr old and tbh I had doubts 3 years ago during my wedding but didn't feel able to stop it because I'd had a mental illness for a year by then and wasn't in my right mind. DH thinks my body is his property and gropes me constantly even when I say no and push him away. I feel grossed out and I don't k ow how much longer I can do this.

Sorry to hear this Albadross. It sounds like your partner doesn’t respect boundaries. Not sure how you can get him to see that what he’s doing isn’t right. Some men are just vile. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too!