Ok so today im going to talk to my h about separating

[Justme1981]

Im just waiting for him to get up, he has a rare weekend day off, i think its going to go badly, i feel like im going to vomit & my heart is racing, but i know it must be done. Just posting for a handhold if anyone is around?

I hope it goes well for you, good luck x

Good luck, think how much better you will feel once it's done.

Thank you - im trying not to chicken out, hes just got up & is in a good mood for a change, wants to go somewhere as family

Hi, I am writing this for a bit of advice and some emotional support. Married for 17 years, I decided to break the emotional turmoil I had been in for years and went for divorce last year.
Halfway, he wants the financial settlement done before the divorce is finalised. We live under the same roof. Every second feels like living hell especially when he is at home. He will make threats to me like he is going to get me arrested. He will push me to an edge where I loose my patience and then blame me for swearing and violence. I have thoght many times to contact domestic violence but I have a son and dont want any complications. I dont know what to do

Adding some more good luck... you know you’re doing the right thing and you’re starting towards a nicer life

Hi Justme saw your post this morning and just wanted to say I hope it all went ok.

Thank you for the good wishes - it was a bit of a diaster, we still havent separated he says he loves me & wants to keep trying, that said hes been a complete arse all evening! I feel trapped in groundhog day, going to try again!
Stuckforlife - you sound in an awful position, i dont know what to advise, it may be worth reposting as a new thread, im sure someone will have words of wisdom for you

I’m on the other side of this - husband has separated from me. Just wanted to say good luck and hang in there.
If it makes you feel better, my father in law’s partner left after 20 years together and seems to be living her best life. Take care of yourself xxx

Thank you sofiaJessica4 for your words of encouragement, really appreciate it. We spoke again yesterday as i noticed he took his Wedding ring off all day, then that night said wanted to work on it. This morning is wearing wedding band said wants to work on it or time together was a waste but the emotion is gone & hes not going to get upset about it ... i feel in limbo not sure what to do or what he actually means?? Anyone have any thoughts?

Do you want him? If yes, it's possibly worth a try; if no, then that's it and time to make the change.

What did you actually say? And do you have children?
I'm in the the situation of too good to leave too bad to stay and I don't want to break my kids hearts.

Did you have reasons or just say it wasn't working for you? Have you thought about who would leave and go where? There is so much to think about, isn't there?

I suppose just tell him that you don’t want to work at it. I wouldn’t try and explain your reasons too much as anything you say he will just try to argue against. Just keep repeating “no, I don’t want to do that”, “no, I feel we’re past that point”?. Stuff like that until he gets the message?

Are you planning on seeing a solicitor? If so do it sooner rather than later as it signals to him how serious you are. Good luck.

Previous message was obviously if you still want to divorce. If you’re having second thoughts that’s different. If he was serious about working on things would you want to try or do you think he’s incapable of making any long term change?

Coming from the other side of this, I would try and explain your reasons as maybe he needs to know in order to process it? Men and women are different though. If you’re not sure maybe don’t rush and just take some space

Any update op?