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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Starting the divorce

8 replies

vcharles · 04/08/2018 17:18

Hello all) please some advice needed. I need to start the divorce process, apart from submitting the petition and legal stuff, how do I go about the process itself? Figure out with him what the child arrangements should be (btw he does not want a divorce at all), or just go ahead with the petition, what should be the right order of steps to take?
Also, can anyone share a copy of the parenting plan (Googled with no result...)
Sorry for (may be) silly questions.
Thank you Wink

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 04/08/2018 18:22

Lots of other good resources on the CAFCASS website, so take a look around. Also here at Resolution

www.resolution.org.uk

If he has his head totally in the sand, sometimes getting the petition issued can help him realise this is happening. But try the parenting plan first, perhaps. Have you talked to a solicitor to get a general idea of financial outcomes?

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/08/2018 18:54

As a thought (as it pops up on these threads) if he is still living in the marital home you cannot legally make him leave i.e. change the locks when he is out etc.

Original poster
vcharles · 04/08/2018 19:04

Yes, thank you! Never had any joint assets (well, I know it does not count, unfortunately, and all will be added to a big pile...), I proposed that he keeps his and I keep mine (and the house is mine...) but I can’t see how I can make him leave, ever.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 04/08/2018 19:22

His right to occupy ends on decree Absolute unless he takes steps to protect it.

And the fact the house was yours before marriage is significant.

The insistence on Mumsnet that "everything is joint and equally shared" is absolute nonsense, so please get proper advice on finances before giving him anything.

Original poster
vcharles · 04/08/2018 20:18

Thank you! The house was bought -by me - during the marriage, and wholly paid for by me. I will be talking this a lawyer as no one gets any freebies ... over my dead body)

OP posts:
MarieG10 · 05/08/2018 09:23

Lots of rubbish is peddled here re he financial stuff. The starting point is 50% but then length of marriage, earnings, assets pre marriage and who is the primary carer if there is one is taken into account. A friend of a friend who had a complete nightmare of an husband split. The house had been hers and she was the primary carer but also higher earner but ended up with a charge on the house in favour of him and also lost 1/3 of her pension. Something guys are used to but not so much women. I was surprised that a 5 year marriage was classed as a long marriage when considering split of assets! If you can't achieve what you want by discussion (and doesn't sound feasible yet) you will need good advice but be prepared.

As many OP say on here marriage accords legal protections but works both ways

MarieG10 · 05/08/2018 09:23

Lots of rubbish is peddled here re he financial stuff. The starting point is 50% but then length of marriage, earnings, assets pre marriage and who is the primary carer if there is one is taken into account. A friend of a friend who had a complete nightmare of an husband split. The house had been hers and she was the primary carer but also higher earner but ended up with a charge on the house in favour of him and also lost 1/3 of her pension. Something guys are used to but not so much women. I was surprised that a 5 year marriage was classed as a long marriage when considering split of assets! If you can't achieve what you want by discussion (and doesn't sound feasible yet) you will need good advice but be prepared.

As many OP say on here marriage accords legal protections but works both ways

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