South Asian and divorced?

[KinderBean]

Hi,

I was wondering if any of you are south asian and had a divorce? What was the experience like? Were your parents/family supportive? I know there is still stigma, and my situation is complicated by the fact that our reason for separation is only that we are so different, rather than any abuse or anything like that (and the fact that everyone loves him, and I am the one who wants a divorce and he doesn't). I haven't shared any problems at all with my parents and family, so it is going to come as a huge shock and I know they are going to really go out of their way to talk me out of it. Are there any gentle/effective ways to soften the blow?

No but I think you need to decide which route you are going to take.
Either it’s my decision and my life
Or the above but outlining facts (try doing without emotions) why it has worked out.

MyDH and I are also going through a bad patch and recently I have started opening up about it to my mum. Not everything but some. You have to tell them it’s making you very unhappy and would they like you to be married to someone when you’re really angry/sad/frustrated with each other.

I think you need to say your piece and expect a backlash at least initially.

Is there one person in your family who you could tell first?

I am not South Asian but live near many and also in my own family no one had ever been divorced so that does make it harder for religious and other reasons. The route I took was we told no one at all not even the children until late on and we only told our parents and wider family once we had financial settlement finished, signed, sealed, approved by the court, decree absolute, monmey transfer house transfer... all that took 7 months. We did not move out until all that was done either (this is very unusual). So by the time we told people they couldn't stop anything because it had all happened, signed sealed and delivered - no possibility of being talked out of it as it was a done deal down to the last piece of paperwork.