Moving out of the family home during separation

[Knockerefc]

Me and my wife are just starting our divorce. We were due to go to Greece together with our 13 year old daughter in one week but I found out two weeks ago she is still at least very good friends with a work colleague she had an affair with 4 years ago. She is a teacher.
She claims they are friends and nothing else despite her having photos of him on her phone and text messages inviting him to her hotel room to rub after sun on her on a school trip I found out they had been on together. we both agreed our marriage is over once I found out. This being the third occasion since the affair I had found texts messages between the two of them.
Anyway my wife is still going on the holiday with our daughter and obviously already devastated at missing the family holiday and more importantly quality time with my daughter and also losing hundreds of pounds on the holiday I have paid for, my wife is now demanding I move out of our house by the time she arrives home from her lovely holiday.
I no we can't live together so I'm willing to go into a bedsit to escape. But she claims I should stop paying the mortgage and she will cover it as long as I pay child maintenance. I can't afford both the mortgage and the bedsit but am I making a mistake agreeing to this? She is claiming she will sign an offical document guaranteeing me 50 % of the equity in the house. Is this a fair deal or am I being stupid in agreeing to move out?

Firstly, sorry to hear this.

Only you can decide if you should move out. Once you go, it’s likely you won’t be able to move back in. Could she move out?

You’ll have to pay CM - so work out how much you have to pay and either agree it between yourselves or go through the CMS.

Have you worked out child contact? Depending on how many nights you have the kids your CMS payment will be reduced.

Do not pay CM ‘in lieu’ of the mortgage - it sets a president. Pay her the CM and she can spend it how she wishes.

Do not sign anything until you have spoken to a solicitor. All assets are marital and division starts at 50/50 (houses, pensions, savings, cars etc).

My now OH left the FMH and paid the mortgage in full for 3 years. He reduced the payment down to 50% for a further year (the EW was dragging her heels on the divorce finances). When they did go to court and she demanded he paid the mortgage in full, the judge directed that as she was living there, she had to pay. The house sale was ordered by a judge. She got to stay in the house for a further 4 years (and pay the mortgage and upkeep in full herself). On sale my now OH got 38% of the equity.

Best advice read other threads would be to stay in the family home as long as practicable. That keeps down costs, for a start.
The danger of moving out is that a precedent gets established that your housing needs are met through being in a bedsit, and you don't need further resource. But clearly you do need further resource to have a chance of housing your children overnight. How will you feel if a new man moves into 'your' house in the near future?
So, ensure things are really nailed down (via solicitor, court, etc.) before you make such a big decision.

Also note that teachers' pensions are valuable assets, too, from which you could try to claim a share.

soon as you move out you are screwed .Get her to move out into rental teachers wage ,child support and may get some benefits so she can do it . Then you will have somewhere to live and be able to have you daughter stay. long term sell it and split it

you need to spend some money on proper legal advice

Yep. No one can advise you properly on here, because they don't have all the information. Plus a lot of the mumsnet divorce lore is utter nonsense.

I am a family solicitor. I wouldn't dream of advising you on so little information. Get proper advice.

We have worked out child maintenance. She has said I am to stop paying the mortgage and pay my rent instead. She has said she will produce a consent order form which will say I'm entitled to 50/50

Just saying that's a couple of "She has said ..."s -- make sure to get your own independent advice.
Child maintenance can be worked out using the government's own online cms calculator.

Don't move out. Get legal advice on what to do next. There is a lot at stake if you make the wrong move.

Get a solicitor for independent, objective and accurate advice. And enough of the “she said....”.

My divorce started early 2015 and it was not until early 2016 that the Decree Nisi was issued. Divorce petition was initially rejected on basis that both parties had the same address. So one of us had to move out.

Maybe things are different now?

go to solicitor before you make any decission

How do I no what solicitor is best and won't rip me off. I don't have buckets of spare cash you see. I'm only a truck driver. Can citizens advise help me?
Sorry I'm new to this

How do I no what solicitor is best and won't rip me off

Difficult question to answer. Starting point would be to identify solicitors in your local area that specialize in Family Law. Most solicitors will give 30 minutes free consultation. During this time you can ask them what their charge rates will be. Compare several before choosing.

For information my divorce was completed in 2016. Solicitor charged 175/hour. Barrister charged 400/hour.

As to what the final cost would be that will depend on the conduct of the 2 parties. If both are upfront with disclosure and tell their Solicitor the full and true story and aim for an amicable settlement it will cost a lot less than if one, or both, make the divorce a contest or try to hide details of earnings, assets, pensions, etc,.

Depends on courts workload, but my solicitor advised 6 months to complete if done sensibly and amicably. Maybe 12 months or more if one, or both, are obstructive.

In my case it too almost 2 years. Ex was super obstructive. Marriage certificate disappeared soon after I filed for divorce. My Ex was the applicant for the Financial Order and jumped from one solicitor to another, failed to comply with Court Orders for disclosure, etc. All came out in the end as Judge at Final hearing soon realized who the trouble maker had been. Most of my legal costs had to be borne by ex and was reflected in final settlement. So ex effectively shot themselves in the foot by being awkward.