Splitting assets when unmarried

[Maxisaretooshort]

DP and I have separated. We have one DS. I am main earner, not for any reason other thanhe never wanted to work and my salary paid for everything, mortgage, holidays, childcare. EVERYTHING. This has been going on for 10 years. DS is 4.

I have also paid for him to have a leased car at £380 a month for coming up to 4 years.

He has started a business and has maybe contributed £6000 to the house (by way of cash payments) over the last year. Cash payments as I suspect his business in not quite honest in that cash payments are taken to avoid tax.

We own our house. It has approx £80k equity. We are tenants in common don’t have a declaration of trust.

I know I have been stupid.

Does anyone know if he is likely to be entitled to 50% of the equity?

I thought if you have purchased as tenants in common you agree shares (the deceleration of trust)?

As unmarried I am sure your solicitor would of advised you of this.

I think he may be entitled to half. He's been a SAHD and giving him half May allow,him to continue in that role, will DC live with him?

Forgot to mention I have also paid off approx £40k of his debts over the last 10 years. I don’t want that money back but it seems wrong that after all this we might have to sell the house to give him his 50% equity

He has not been a SAHD. DS has been in childcare since he has been 4 months old. DP has literally socialised and relaxed instead of working. We have a dog walker and cleaner and DS is now at school and we have after school childcare

DS wont live with him. He has shown no interest in DS since he left 4 weeks ago. He has maybe seen him twice for 30 mins at a time. He claims he will want him for 50% of the time but bearing in mind the importance of his social life, that he didnt show up to see DS on wednesday morning, wednesday evening, thursday evening, friday evening or all day saturday when he was supposed to (without any warning or explanation) I don’t think he is going to be around much

So you are tenants in common, each with a 50% share of the house? As such, I don't think 'entitlement' comes into it - that's the contract you've signed. But do check with a solicitor.

Wont a judge look at contributions?

We never signed anything to say what shares and the solicitors file is now destroyed

Your copy or the solicitors copy destroyed?

You need to find out what the contract says

Sorry this is happening to you. How long have you had your house? How come the solicitors file is destroyed?

I think your mortgage company will have a copy of the paperwork or maybe the land registry? you will need to get legal advice but usually it is 50% - very unusual for solictrs to lose paper you could probably complain to the law society..

Tenants in common = 50/50 split. - unless otherwise specified in any special arrangement.

Wont a judge look at contributions?

I don't hunk a judge will be involved.

If you're not married, then you're just two people who have chosen to spend your money how you e chosen to spend your money. You have had, and continue to have, no obligation towards each other, so there's nothing for a judge to be involved with.

Your child's father will need to pay child maintenance. Normally that would be agreed between you, set by the CMS (I think it's 10% of salary for one DC), or you could take him to court to ask for an order to make him pay more. The amount of child maintenance set will be dependant on his salary alone, not anything that's happened between you or any payments you've made to him in the past.

I don't know if this is true but I think no one can force a sale but if he moves out and you continue to pay he'll still get 50% when you sell even if he hasn't contributed and hasn't even lived there? This is what, if I've understood properly, happened to my friend.
Are you planning to sell now? I think that would be the best thing op, a clean break.

Yes he'll get 50%. Sell now and cut your losses. What on earth has been going on all these years? Why were you subbing his lifestyle like that?

will you need to sell to release the 40k? by the time you have added in fees for selling, buying something else and stamp duty it would be more sensible to stay put and remortgage if possible.

OP as OurKidMolly says ' What on earth has been going on all theses years? Why were you subbing his lifestyle like that ?'

I wish you luck but I don't think it will have a 'fair' outcome.
You appear to have put far too much more into the relationship financially but he will reap its reward ( half the home )

Who made what contribution doesn’t matter. Imagine all those SAHM’s who don’t earn - they still have rights. When you are married assets are viewed as joint (unless you signed a pre-nup in which you separated finances)?

When you purchased the house you would have signed a deed of trust as to shares. What do you mean the paperwork has been destroyed. The land registry will have a copy.

I wouldn’t tell him that you don’t want him to pay back his debts. That £40k is effectively half the equity. Make him an offer to buy him out of the house - if you are able to pay him £6-10k in cash, suggest that you will use his debt in lieu of payment (do you have evidence of bank transfers etc?) and then let him negotiate you up to the £6-10k that you’re prepared and able to pay.

It’s always worth just staring as fact what you thought the arrangement t was - that you get back what you put in - in the course of conversation about sorting out the value he is owed - again if he believes it - great. If not it’s still a great basis for discussion - I am only asking that we leave the relationship with what we put into it.

Also ask for maintenance even if you don’t need it - you can use it as a bargaining chip. Sounds like he has no compunction taking everything from you giving nothing in return so you have to assume that he will try this with the house. Play hardball, even though it’s uncomfortable and remember to factor in a share for your dc - as you will need a house to be his resident parent even though obviously he doesn’t get an actual share of the house - still you will need to house him so factor it in

(And apologies if this cross posts with anyone - got interrupted at breakfast time when I had almost finished this and I don’t want to lose it!

When you are married assets are viewed as joint

However the OP is not married - but owns an asset 50:50 with a waster someone else.

Get a good solicitor.
Not a bad one like a relative of mine.

I’m not suggesting SAHM get nothing- quite the opposite. DP was not however a SAHD. His role never changed once DS was born, he went into childcare at 4 months and his grandparents helped on the other days. Had DP been a SAHD then I wouldnt have had to pay £900 a month childcare and £400 a month dog walking

Also, he plays at being a business man, always in “business meetings” otherwise known as the pub. It says something when the only contribution someone can make to the family is sporadic cash payments of bundles of £50 notes.

Files only have to be kept by solicitors for 7 years. Its been 10.

The equity put into the house when we bought was mine as it came from the sale of my flat. That was approx £20k.

Land Registry just have us down as Tenants in Common, mortgagees don’t hold deeds anymore.

I was stupid for not getting on and sorting out the declaration of trust but I was young and very very naive. I had the whole ridiculous notion that we were in love and would be together forever blah blah blah

Sorry to say but agree with PP....it is a 50/50 split from what you've said.

You can try using the approach a PP suggested about using the payment of his debt as part of the money he would be owed. He may go for that if he has any morals.

However if he doesn't and decides to hang out for the most he can get then unless you have something (texts, emails, anything written) that shows the money to pay off the debt was a loan and you were both clear that it was to be repaid then that money will count as a gift from a legal perspective.

I'm not trying to cause any offence at all but...do think about talking all this over with a counsellor. Your willingness to subsidise him relaxing at home does suggest you might benefit from working on boundaries and what is acceptable behaviour. I'm sorry if that sounds patronising, it's not meant to be. We all have our own 'things', me included...

Have you spoken to the solicitors in case they still have the documents?

I had to get some info from solicitors recently relating to stuff involving my parents and grandparents and they still had a big file with old documents in - sometimes it's more effort to weed them out than leave them.

Worth a try at any rate!

If you have to split 50/50 with him (and you should have protected yourself) then it's still a big win because you can stop haemoraging money over this cocklodger. Yes to claiming maintenance from him through CMS, even though if he's self-employed he will probably only pay you a quid a week.