Legal advice desperately needed please.

[Lealou79]

Advice needed ASAP please.
H left in Jan 18 and requested for divorce. After months of bullying tactics to remove me from the marital home he finally filed for divorce in May 18. Based on unreasonable behaviour on my behalf. The tedious reasons are beyond a joke.

We have been together for 12 years and married 9. We have 2 DD and I have a DD to a previous relationship. I have been the homemaker after a joint decision that we had not other option as we couldn’t afford childcare to support me in work along with his unsociable shift work. Working eventually self employed I have paid for holidays and renovations of our home including full new bathroom etc. The mortgage is in his name. I have since found out I’m not even on the land registry.
So, I requested that seen as though he wanted a divorce and our decision as a married couple has left me with no name on mortgage, no career or job etc I was requesting 18mth to stay in the marital home until our dd3 who is three goes to full time school and also gives me time to find a stable income and apply for a mortgage of my own. He has agreed to this as I pay the bills why I and our children currently live in the house BUT he is still pushing for the divorce. My concern is that as soon as he gets the divorce he will force me out as I will have no marital rights on the home then. He has gone against his word in many occasions so I’m not doubting that this wouldn’t happen! How do I secure my place in our home until I can afford a mortgage and time to set up a stable job etc to know me and children are safe and secure?
Also note that he is now using bullying tactics saying I will be liable for the cost of the divorce now as I haven’t sent the petition back in the requested time. I haven’t done this due his contradictory behaviour with me last couple of months being intimate and courtship (yes I know I was stupid and naive) I have sent an email to his solicitor to inform them of the reasons why I haven’t. Not yet had reply. I no longer have a solicitor as I cannot afford one.

Please help. I am beside myself. I don’t see why, after giving my life to build a home for our family as a homemaker, I should be left with nothing if he wants a divorce. I don’t have a career pension or mortgage/home so to speak because my life has been my family for last decade!! :-(

Have you sought legal advice? Is he paying any maintenance? As the main carer without a career I would have thought that there was a duty on his part to ensure you have a roof over your head until the kids are 18. Bear in mind I have no legal training though.

My concern is that you will lose out financially unless you have a solicitor and I have a feeling that your ex could be made to pay for it. Again, no legal basis but if you go to court without representation, you could significantly lose out. You should be able to make a claim on his pension as you have not been able to contribute to your own.

I think you need to do a significant amount of homework to arm yourself with the facts so you can spend as little as possible on a solicitor. Look at the .gov website and their divorce calculator.
www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends

You need legal advice. How about citizen advice bureau? I also have no legal training (but going through divorce myself at the moment, thankfully amicably though). I believe the house would be a marital asset, so regardless of whether you're on the deeds you would have a stake in it.

Hi OP
So sorry you are going through this

Have you had a look at the wikivorce website? There is loads of advice on there and you can ask questions. Very helpful when I did a lot of my own divorce paperwork a few years ago.

You need a home rights restriction putting on the title ASAP. It may cost you a couple of hundred pounds at worst but he won’t be able to sell the house from under you which he could at the moment. Most family solicitors will accept a payment plan for doing this if you don’t have the money upfront. You won’t be liable for the costs of the divorce for sending paperwork late.

Op, I went through similar, except we weren't married but lived as a family for 28 years and my name was on the house as we jointly purchased but then like, you I was the homemaker when we had our 3 children so didn't have a career etc for 10 years, I was allowed to stay in the family home until my youngest had finished secondary education at the age of 19. we sold in 2016 and I was able to get a flat with my share, I think as a wife or even as a divorcee you are entitled to live in the home until the children leave education. Get legal aid and find a solicitor to help you with some sort of mediation to resolve this. It will give you breathing space

To OP

I am not a legal person, but based on my own divorce I would comment as follows:

As you are legally married you have rights on the marital home when it comes to settlement even if house is solely in husband's name. So don't panic.

Previous poster has already advised you to obtain a home rights as this will prevent ex from both selling without your knowledge or even trying to get you removed from the house.

Suggest you employ a solicitor. They can request your Husbands solicitor that he pays your legal costs and they will be taken into account as part of final settlement. Might sound odd that one partner pays the other's legal costs, but if it brings things to an end faster it may result in a lower total legal cost.

Op

Please do not worry about your name not being on the mortgage. You own half of that house due to being married. This is a legal fact.

He will have been told this. Don’t let him intimidate you.

Get a solicitor ASAP

Many factors will depend on whether you are able to remain in the family home. All sorts can be done. Don’t give up.

Thank you all for your advice. He just wants me out. I’ve been told to get a little rental and he’ll buy me out. So degrading :-(
I don’t know I could ask solicitor to request him to pay my costs. ExH has actually said I’m paying the costs as I’m late in replying to petition which I find disgusting under circumstances of reconciliation inbetween. So naive.

I will contact rights of women now so I know how to move forward. I can’t afford a solicitor. He’s the one on £38k a year!
I’ve told him I’m not moving. I pay all the bills in this home now and he pays the interest only mortgage at present. If I moved I would have to relocate the girls schools, rehome our dog and chickens and the girls would be in such a fix about it all.

I hope this ends soon it’s all too much. Even my parents think I should just do as he asks and think I’m being destructive by standing my ground. So upsetting.

Custody of children is difficult too as he is demanding for me to hand over the children to him when he has his days off. I’m reaponsible all of the other days even when I’m teaching (I run my own Small Business) He wants his cake and eat it. The reason we’ve split in first place was because he was like this and wasn’t happy when I started to build up my own business and become a person in my own right again.

Hope by end of today I’m much clearer and focused.

Thank you for your advice and support. X

I’d advise to get some legal advice prior to registering MHR. Its easy to do yourself and there isn’t a fee if I can recall correctly. Just one thing to be aware of is that he’ll be notified in the post so do prepare yourself for the backlash.

There is a £40 fee from the land registry for a home rights notice. Land registry will notify him by writing to the address he has provided on the register. Probably the home address. If he doesn’t object within 6 weeks the notice will go on the register. Is he collecting his post? OP I cannot emphasis this enough. DO NOT move out of the house. Go and see a solicitor please. They will give you 30 minutes of free advice, and many will set up payment plans for future costs. This is going to court and if you have to pay a few hundred pounds to be represented it may save you thousands in the long term. I guess your ex isn’t legally trained so ignore the threats about liability for costs

You can contact your local CAB for a list of solicitors near you. Some may do legal aid also. Are you eligible for that?

I would certainly NOT move out of the house for now. I would also think as you have been the primary carer that your h has little chance to take your dc away. Please get some advice other than on here. We're all rooting for you but few of us will have legal training.