Parenting proposal

[Mumao]

My ex is moving out of our home shortly.

I’m writing a parenting proposal. Can I put things in there like attempting to brush her teeth when she says over at his. He doesn’t at home I want him to at least try... and not putting her in the basket bit of the trolly when shopping? I won’t allow it so she kicks off when I’m shopping with her.

Is stuff like this ok or am I going over board??

I would say that in general if you're going to have an amicable co parenting arrangement then you really really need to pick your battles and let him find his own way with her. Writing a detailed list of how you "expect" things to go is just going to seem unnecessarily hostile and could become a battlefield. The shopping trolly thing is definitely over the top, simple answer to dd "you're not at daddy's now and we're doing this..." she'll learn. The teeth is a bit more difficult but I still wouldn't be presenting him with a list of do's and don'ts.

Shopping basket is going a bit over board but brushing teeth I’d do.

My dh (even though owns two successful buisnesses) needs stuff to be pointed out concerning the kids.

I’d actually have to put

No fluids after 7pm because of wet beds
No lolly’s after 5pm because they won’t go to sleep
Brush teeth ect..

I’d only only list things that make life easier for them all.

Must be tough for you

Cant hurt but I agree pick your battles. Agree a few big ground rules but otherwise let him parent his daughter. You wouldn't like someone critiquing your routines and rules.

Advice I was given is that either he's a fit parent or he's not. If not you need to restrict access. If he is then you have to let him do things his way. You can't manage/micromanage how he chooses to parent. It's excruciating but it's worse to try and control things you really can't control.

Yeah I was thinking the same that it was a tad overboard but the trolly thing is so fraustrating! She’s 2 so didn’t know why she can with daddy and not mummy! A tantruming toddler whilst shopping is not fun as I’m sure you know!

Brushing teeth I think il have to approach that.

I don’t want to micro manage him-these are the only two things I feel strongly about.

Can you just get round the shopping one by going shopping whilst she's with him? My ds is five now and I still do thins whenever possible, young kids and shopping just don't seem to mix

Sounds controlling.

Does he tell you how to parent? Or would you mind being told?

I would leave him to parent (just like he should leave you).

Why cant you put her in the trolley?

That's the perfect age for it.

It’s controlling to ask him to brush her teeth?? Because I know he won’t do it!

@sandy in the basket but of the trolly... in the dart is fine obviously but you’re not meant to put kids in the trolly basket

I'd expect him to do better than attempt to brush her teeth.

The trolley thing is controlling though.

@raining yes I agree going to drop the trolly thing.