Separating but living together. What do I tell the kids?

[Lonelygirlxoxo]

Hi this is my first time posting but I really need some advice. Me and my husband have recently agreed to separate. He has said he will move out however but wants to be around for the summer holidays. Therefore we will be living together for the next 6-8 weeks. There has been a lot of arguing and I really don’t know how I’m going to cope with another few months of it. My children are 13 and 8 and I don’t know whether to tell them now or at the end of the summer. I feel like he’s going to spend the next 2 months being as awkward as possible, has anyone got tips to deal with it?

I would explain this to your H. Suggest it would be best for the children and yourselves to have the summer to get that ball rolling so by the time school starts they have had time to get used to the new ‘new’. Agree with H he can be around kids as much as possible over the holiday.

I have been in this situation since Easter. I hope to move on in the next few weeks. It has been hell. I have not told the kids and dont intend to until a few days before we are walking out the door. I dont think they could cope with the concept if I told them but yet we were all still living together. My H has refused to leave saying this is his house and why should he. It is extremely awkward. I am trying to keep things on an even keel for the kids sake. They are 14,12,10 and 8.

Lonely girl I am in exactly the same situation. Recently decided to separate, we have 3 children ages 13,6 and 3. Our house is on the market and he is camping out (quite happily) in his office. I'm torn whether to tell them now before the holidays, or it'll be when they are back at school.. either way I'm dreading it and it will all come from me because he cannot do 'talking'... to you. Here if you need to chat.

I wouldn’t leave it until the end of the summer holidays to explain to the children. They’ll have to adjust to the new school year & to their home life changing massively, in one go, it’s a lot for them to process. Give them a chance to adjust, ask questions and start to come to terms with the idea before the new school term.

TBH, if things are as tense as you say they are, the children will know that things aren’t good.

Ive been in this situation since xmas. It worked really well at first we started getting on better- this was due to my relief that it was over and he was actively looking for somewhere to live.
Alas he's now said hes not going anywhere , turned really nasty and im very stressed.
Not sure where to go from here as ds starts school in September and ive landed a super job but it necessitates me being on this property as lots of expensive equipment ( think workshop)
My advice is make sure he goes! Like someone else said tell the kids and get the ball rolling. Good luck

The problem is though you cant make them go. I have asked my H quite a few times to leave just until I got myself sorted out and he has refused saying it is his house. I know as we are married we both have equal rights to stay in the house so what can I do ? I had hoped he would leave us for a bit for the sake of the kids but he is more concerned about himself. So we are living virtually separate lives, hardly communicating at all and it is horrible and so stressful. I dont intend to tell him I am moving until the week before I do and the kids a few days before hand. I don't want them worrying about it and I can't cope with him and the massive pity party he will throw himself when I say I am going.

Oh cannot i really know how that feels.
My situation is even more complicated we are not married and the house is in his name. Although i have a sort of pre nup amd have been paying the mortgage. I want to go through the courts but ges burying his head in the sand.
He has a couple of businesses and keeps saying he will sell one to give me my money back...yeah and pigs might fly. If it wasnt for my little boy starting school in a couple of months i would have walked ages ago.
I keep hoping he'll meet someone else and want to get things moving but no chance. It seems no one wants a danny de Vito look a like with a split personality
Funny that

Surely you have common law rights @yesits ? Your post made me lol, and that is few and far between these days, thank you x there is nothing else for you then but to go through the courts. I will also be going to a solicitor but for now its more important for me to have my own space, this is no way to live is it ?

Better to tell them now so it is less of a shock when he leavrs.

I told my 14 year old last night that me and his dad are separating. We have a close relationship and it felt wrong keeping it from him over the summer holidays, pretending and then dropping the bomb before he goes back to school. He took it pretty well. We had a long chat and he has been fine today, among other things he said he hoped there's better WiFi in our new house!

No such thing as common law rights anymore , i took legal advice in January. My solicitor advised me to get a few wage slips behind me and that is what i have been doing. I'll be going down the legal route again soon.
Its not pleasant but my ds is such a happy little soul and that's what keeps me going

It must be harder having older kids because they probably have half an idea about what is going on.
Name change im glad your son took it well