Looks like divorce

[DisabledMumOf2]

Hi, im new and after some advice from people please.

Ive become disabled since we got married and this illness/disability seems to have broken our marriage. Ive kept a lot of my problems (pain, depression, suicidal thoiughts) to myself which is where i think some of our problems have come from - lack of communication, no intimacy at all (even holding hands) etc and weve sat and talked it out quite a bit lately but we cant seem to get past the fact that he wants sex and i have no sex drive, confidence or energy to do it, especially not regularly.

I guess what im looking for is advice on what happens if we split up. I wouldnt be able to work so not sure how i would be able to afford my own place.I think "custody" of the chikdren would be an issue as hes always said he doesnt want to be a weekend dad but i dont want to be the weekend parent either.
I know this is probably a rambling mess but im just trying to get it all down.

Thanks all

Hi @DisabledMumOf2 and sorry you have found yourself on this forum board like the rest of us.
I'm no expert as only part way through separation myself but wanted to reply to your post.

I think first of all you need to be sure your relationship is over, it sounds like you have talked this through between yourselves - but it may also be worth considering going to counselling - if only to help you both understand decisions being made.

If you do get faced with divorce you will need to think about what you both do next. There will be so many things for you to consider that it will be overwhelming to begin with but take things one step at a time and look after yourself.
Like anyone else you will need to think about your capacity to gain an income (either via benefits or work) and also how you both wish to co-parent in the future. You will have to consider how your disability effects both these things but it's the same process for everyone. consider getting some legal advice - but you don't necessarily have to go down the legal route. You and your husband may be able to work things out between you and agree everything amicably. But it helps to get some independent advice as to what your options might be.
Good Luck - like I said take one step at a time - look after yourself and get some advice. Contact a good friend or relative that you can confide in and get some support.

Thank you so much for replying.
I am going to talk about counseling, maybe separately at first as I know I'm still struggling to accept my new life and he's struggling with his mums death.