Married for 6 years, together 12.Got together late teens so both still early 30s. 4 DC. 21 months ago I caught H screwing his secretary. Physically it has just begun but he admitted it had been flirting/texting for 6 months prior. At that point we hadn’t been good for a year. He had moved jobs,met new people. I felt alienated from his new life. He was simultaneously cold and loving. It was a painful year for me. It ended with him cheating. It was an ego boost for him.I was still in love with him and wanted to make it work. He did too (he never saw OW again she left and contact was cut) 21 months later I’m still here. The first year was an emotional rollercoaster. I thought it we got through it we’d come out the other side. He tried (maybe not always to the extend I needed) and I tried. We both changed and slowly my feelings changed and until last night we hadn’t talked in 8 weeks. Absolutely civil and fine infront of the kids and we still are doing things with them etc we don’t argue but we don’t talk to each other about work/our days etc so I guess you could say we are separated in house. H has a real problem with communication and would rather bury his head in the sand. We finally spoke. He said he loves me, he doesn’t want anyone else, if I want him to leave he will and not argue it, but he wants the kids to grow up in a unit. He didn’t say he wanted to work on us or anything in that vein. So here I am. Still got love for him and the idea we could get through it all but I guess my heart and my heart know it’s not true..so with the ball in my court do we make this work for now or do I ask him to leave? Why can’t I let it go? Words of wisdom please. I did say to him we both deserved to be happy but he’s adamant the kids come first and I do get that. I’m not miserable and content in all other areas of my day to day life. Anyone else living this too? Sorry for the long post.