Row contact changing arrangements

[eve34]

We have just settled into a routine of eow. Ex has no other contact has never really asked excepted on an ad hoc basis. I try to accommodate but the children have activities and we also make our own plans so usually have to say no. As he asks as such short notice.

I am sure he thinks I am being obstructive.

His last weekend he wasn't well so I agreed to have the children back and offered a day on my weekend to make up for the lost time.

Now he wants to swap the next weekend.

I don't want to come across as being difficult. I also don't want to be chopping and changing I make plans both when I have the children and also the weekend I am child free.

What do other do in this situation. I have another 10 years of this yet so don't want it to be anymore difficult than it needs to be.

Sorry title should say eow contact.
Thanks

We always found it best to be as flexible as reasonably possible as long as it goes both ways. He may want to swap this weekend and it may be a pain but I can guarantee that at least once over the 10 years something will crop up that you will want to change - you may want to book a holiday and can only get dates over their weekend with him or a family party that is booked on a weekend that they are there but you really want to take them etc.

If this is not a regular occurrence and he really was ill may be best to just swap now in case you ever need to in future, if it becomes regular or he does reciprocate in future then at least you know you have tried and then just don't be as flexible in future.

You have to stick to what you have in place. If you have made plans and the DC have activities, then you just have to tell him that is the way it is. I'm not saying that you should be deliberately obstructive but you have a life and that is the way it is.

ex-H used to mess me around no end & I'd try to be accommodating and try to re-jig and re-arrange & in the end I stopped and either he saw them on "his" weekends, or he didn't. End of story.

Others may have more cunning ways to deal with it but that was how it worked for me and I'm 15 years down the line now!