Fast approaching end of my rope re starting divorce. Terrified!

[Fullonmummy]

So it's half past midnight and I'm in the kitchen again in tears with a cuppa. I feel like my whole world is upside down. I know I need to ask relevant questions and look for some answers but I never know where to start. For 3 years I've spoken about divorce. He won't hear anything of it and thinks I'm being nasty and threatening him when I tell him how unhappy I am... we both are and I want a divorce. I got an hours advice with solicitor back in Feb although not really helpful. Don't know what I was expecting but it was so cold and I could have read everything I was told online.
Things are awful. We don't talk and when we do, it's aggressive talk and just horrible. He's in complete denial about the fact we now NEED to divorce. Won't even let me bring it up.
Cut a long story short, I came up with a plan over the last few months in my head to buy him out the house (50/50) and transfer over to an interest only mortgage on my own. I thought would appeal to him as he's v money orientated (finance manager) and likes to get what he's owed and more. Had appointment with mortgage broker on Monday and turns out I just can't. I need an extra 210k in my pocket to do that! Plus you can't do interest only mortgage for 1 person, has to be 2 (didn't know that)
That has just broken me. To think my babies will have to leave their beautiful little bedrooms and box up the rest of this house to move somewhere up to the value of 310k
We have a beautiful 5 bedroom house and they were both born here. So many memories of my babies here.
I'm literally out of ideas what to do next? I want to talk to a different lawyer I think. Can I still ask to stay in the family home with children and he contributes? I have no idea how it all works. Like I said, I didn't get much from my appointment in Feb. Mediation I think is out because he's already told me he's not doing it. I feel so trapped. I know I need out of this marriage ASAP. My little boy starts school in September and I want minimal disruption for him of course. I just don't know my next steps. Scared to take the leap and file for divorce without knowing the outcomes and consequences. Please someone offer me some words of wisdom or comfort

A happy mumma is much more important than a five bed house.
What can 310 get you in your area?
You can get a new home that is all yours and start new memories even if it is smaller.

(1) If he has a valuable pension (possible if he's a financial manager) then that needs to be weighed against the equity in the house. A good pension could easily be worth >£100,000. Same for savings (ISA values, etc.).
(2) Since there are kids to look after, and/or you've taken a career break, then the asset split might be more favourable to you than 50/50.
(3) Sometimes one parent keeps a proportion of the equity, but cannot get that until later - a Mesher order. Though that's not good for any kind of clean break.
(4) Factor in value of child maintenance for future income calcs.
(5) Mortgages are harder to get, now, but there is no equation between interest-only and needing to be a couple. You may need to shop around, .e.g. www.comparethemarket.com/mortgages/information/interest-only/
good luck!

Dear fullonmummy,
I feel your pain as I am in a similar situation.I totally understand why you don't want to move out of the family home but as OzMumofBoys says you can always start new memories in a new home of your own. I'm sure your children would rather have a happy mum than one who is sad and lonely . My boy is 10 and has lived in the same house since he was 2 so remembers nowhere else. However, for him the prospect of a cat with a move of house is exciting. Good luck. Sending you lots of love xx

I guarantee your life will be so much better, and so will your children's, without your horrible h.

How are you going OP?