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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Advice please

11 replies

limon · 02/07/2018 08:26

Husband has decided to separate from me, about 7 weeks ago.

He's shown no signs of leaving and no signs of saving (if anything he has spent more).

Am I expected to go to mediation before he moves out? I have taken a while to cone to terms with the situation so haven't booked mediation yet.

OP posts:
Shmithecat · 02/07/2018 12:56

What's your situation? Children? House owners?

Original poster
limon · 02/07/2018 13:30

Yes. Both.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 02/07/2018 13:35

Well no, you aren't expected to do anything. The ball's in his court. You could ask him when's this separation going to happen? Where and when is he going to pack his bags? What plan has he got for contributing towards the finances?

Original poster
limon · 02/07/2018 15:35

He has no plans to do any of that I don't think - as far as I can work out. I don't think he will financially contribute.

OP posts:
Original poster
limon · 02/07/2018 15:46

It's been six weeks .

He's carried on as usual other than spending more money.

I asked him not to move out immediately (he can't anyway as he has no where to go).

He is now spending all his disposable income on kit (he is self employed).

I think he expects to fund his move from family money, but make no contribution to that (he makes a very small monthly contribution to family finances as he's self employed part-time). He has rwfuawd to work full time even before we had a child.

When he does get a good income (it comes in fits and starts) he spends it on himself and his hobby (which he has bought a lot of kit for). This income can be £400 or a £1k a couple of times a year.

I have no access to "his" money.

OP posts:
Original poster
limon · 02/07/2018 20:45

That £400-£1k is disposable income, earned in cash and on top of his normal monthly income (he's never shared with me).

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 02/07/2018 21:46

He's no good to man nor beast, really, is he? Quite a self centred man. So what do you want to do about it? That's the question.

Original poster
limon · 02/07/2018 22:12

I don't know. I want him to be less selfish. I dont want my daughter to have seperated parents.

OP posts:
BlueBug45 · 02/07/2018 22:18

Make sure he can't access your or "family" money then tell him to leave.

It is better for your daughter to live with one loving hard-working resourceful parent, than two parents where one is selfish and doesn't want to be there making the other completely miserable.

Original poster
limon · 02/07/2018 22:20

I can't do that BlueBug it woukd be financial abuse.

OP posts:
Original poster
limon · 02/07/2018 22:20

He wants 50:50 living arrangements for my dd

OP posts:
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