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Don't know what to do

2 replies

icecreamcrackers · 26/06/2018 08:42

Me and my husband have not been right for a while, it's come to a point where he threatens to walk out on at least a monthly basis telling me everything is my fault and that I do nothing and just see him as a bank, I work 10 hours a week during school hours, am registered as my dad's carer and have the children to look after. He shouts at me and now tells me I have to go full time which would make us worse off with child care and losing carers support.

We argue alot about money he constantly accuses me or our children of stealing money. He tells me I don't discipline the kids and let them run wild, he tells me when they have had hot dinners at school they can't sometimes have a cold dinner in the evening and that I'm starving them by not giving them a second hot dinner.

He works long hours with some nights away in different towns and cities and the house is a happy place, when his home it's miserable, if I speak to him and he disagrees with me I get told to shut up and he shouts at me. My son copies his behaviour and tells me to shut up woman!

He tells me he is not at fault and that I wind him up on purpose and that everything in the relationship is my fault and that if I didn't wind him up then he wouldn't shout or call me names as he just needs a release.

Anyway he walked out Sunday night took his clothes and slept in the van overnight going to work yesterday. Yesterday he called me from the hotel which is when he told me this is all my fault and I need to change and that if I loved him he would come home tonight as long as I stop trying a wind him up all the time and as long as I reduce my daughter's skating competitions etc.He said if I took him back he would pay the bills and any spare money he would keep as a getting away fund. He seems jealous of my daughter because she ice skates and is doing well but it is obviously expensive but it is a sport he got her into and now that she's serious about he doesn't like it. He told me when he left the she wasn't even that good to warrant competing yet she went to competition yesterday and got her best ever score, places and that was with all the stress he created on top to deal with.

Like a fool I agreed to it and his meant to be coming home tonight. The house is in both names owned but originally my parents brought me a house in my name but since we got married and brought 2 more houses since that I don't know where I stand. He told me when he left that I could keep the house but on the phone last night got nasty and said he would make me sell it or buy him out which I can't do, Im worried I could end up homeless. He also said he would tell the school that my daughter's competitions are not official ones so that the school would refuse to grant time off for sport.

I guess I want to know what would happen to me if I didn't let him home tonight and what would happen if I can't pay the charge on the house to the people we brought it off or he made me sell because there wouldn't be enough to buy again. Would I get help or would I be intentionally homeless?

OP posts:
icecreamcrackers · 26/06/2018 08:43

Sorry it's so long

OP posts:
RedSquirrelMoonlight · 26/06/2018 14:50

I'm so sorry to hear this, please call women's aid. He is manipulating you and sounds like your children are growing up to think his behaviour is acceptable. If you can't see the hurt your doing to your self, imagine how this is affecting your kids perception of themselves and their future partners and families.

Hugs to you.

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