Residence Orders (Scotland)

[Malkie76]

Ok where to start, Myself and my Ex partner separated (2016)due to her having a affair. We have only little boy together born 01-May-2013, We have been to court and the sheriff gave me the Dad the residency order, Mum had a contact order on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons which changed to collecting my son from Nursery on a Tuesday evening and having all day on a Wednesday and returning to Nursery on a Thursday morning, Just to be clear it was the grand parents that did the collecting looking after and dropping off at nursery.

Last week I received a letter from my solicitor stating that my Ex had changed her solicitor and we have to return to court to check everything was going as planned, My ex never turned up so the only option I had was to serve papers on her to make sure she knew about the court hearing which is fixed for the 3rd - July next week.

We have received a whole list of demands from my Ex's solicitor stating that she wants shared care 4 days here 3 days there split holidays so on a so fourth, from one extreme to the other.

My question is with the limited time my Ex has been in my sons life can we see the court giving her what she wants, more over night stays in the middle of the week, not having him at weekends (would interfere with her social life) And never staying at her house always at the grand parents.

I have a good legal team and a telephone meeting with them this afternoon and to discuss all and see what the options are.

I just wondered if the court would change residence orders in favor of the other parent .

Any information would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks again

Malc

Honestly, having been through the Child Welfare System for residency in the Scottish courts I don’t know.

This really isn’t what you want to hear but it depends on the sheriff allocation that day, what mood they’re in and what evidence they’re prepared to hear.

It’s bullshit but it’s how it is. However, if you can prove she hasn’t been in your child’s life consistently you should be able to limit the damage.

Oh and unless she’s working at weekends they’ll take a dim view of that.

That being not wanting your boy at the weekend I mean. Also, if he’s May 2013 will he be starting school in August? DD is June 2013 and starting.

So midweek would have to be that if they did give contact, she’d have to get him to school on time, in the right clothes and with the right kit. If midweek contact affects schooling they won’t be happy with that.

If you have a residency order, the sheriff would have to be convinced it was in child's best interest to change that. If you move towards shared care then it'll happen fairly slowly.

Thanks for the message SoddingUnicorns,

Just to be clear mum's day off are Sunday and Monday, she has asked to have him Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday so no where near her days off.

I’d raise that too, if she wanted time with him surely it would be her days off? Isn’t that usually what a NRP does?

I hope the hearing goes well and you are allocated a decent sheriff. If it does look like it’s going a bit wrong you can request (I paid for ours it’s £3k) a Bar Report which is an independent person interviewing all parties (grandparents included) to then make a recommendation and send it to the court.

Also, check for child advocacy workers in your area, they speak to the kids in private (could be done at nursery or school) and get their opinions and thoughts and can submit them to the court too. Totally independent of either parent, which is helpful for the sheriff who doesn’t know who is telling the truth.

Thanks for the update Ginger, I am open to negotiations all I want is my little boy during the week Monday - Friday to make sure he goes to school and everything is correct, I am will that she has him on a Sunday (her day off) and even over night and return to School on a Monday morning and take him for tea during the week.

The problem is that it will be her parents that do everything for him as we have seen over the past 2.5 years it is her parents. My son only talks about his Nana that is all I hear about Nana this Nana that.

I think I am scared that they grant her time during the week and it messes up his life education going forward.

As soddingUnicorns said it will depend alot on the sheriff on the day and what mood he is in.

Thanks for all the messages

One worried Dad.

Thanks Unicorn, So useful information there I think I will look into the child advocacy works, as his mother will lie and lie, I have nothing to hide just want the best for my little boy.

Thanks again

Malcolm.

Tell the court that, that it’s concern for his schooling and offer the alternative you stated (I know it’s shit but they look more favourably on someone attempting to compromise iyswim?)

As I said telephone call with solicitor this afternoon, I will be pushing that it is the grand parents who have been doing the care to date not mother, and her days off are Sunday and Monday lets see if she can pick and collect my little boy on these days and have him all day during the day.

Sounds like something a sheriff would be hard pushed to argue with tbh.