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Is this a fair divorce proposal to suggest to hubby?

3 replies

gizmocat1 · 19/06/2018 21:23

I am contemplating divorce and feel this is what I should do but am still plucking up the courage to do it. Hubby and I have been unstable for a long time and we sleep in separate rooms so it shouldn’t be a complete surprise .

I work full time and hubby is retired. I feel if we sold our house we could both start again. I may need a small mortgage but hubby wouldn’t get one as he’s retired (65), im 45 so a small mortgage is manageable.

I’d like us both to have somewhere nice so we could share custody of our son and somewhere for his older children and grandchildren to visit.

I feel my proposal to him is probably going to be that we split the house, I don’t want to touch his pension and we share child care so no maintainance. We could just share childcare costs . What do you think?

Don’t know if he’ll go for it but it seems fair in my eyes.

I think in most situations the martial Home is split 50/50. He won’t be keen on this as he contributed more but I feel this is the only way we could both live somewhere habitable xx.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 20/06/2018 07:45

No one can advise you on that information. You need to see a solicitor.

waterSpider · 20/06/2018 15:45

On the face of it, you are looking into the right areas. Namely, how will children be cared for and housed, how will existing assets be divided? However, things like ages of children and the money values (e.g. how much the pension is worth, and house would sell for) are also relevant.
There are various avenues - you could consult a solicitor (as above); you could try to agree between yourselves and do the paperwork without a solicitor; you could try mediation and have a solicitor assist with the paperwork/agreement.
Fairness can tend to be in the eye of the beholder. Yes often people start from a 50/50 perspective but that relates to all the assets, not only the main property.

mrssapphirebright · 20/06/2018 22:41

Hi op, to me it sounds fair. My exh and I split things pretty similarly. It was my decision to leave the marriage too. My exh was also a fair bit older than me and was semi retired. It was quite amicable in the end as neither of us felt the other has screwed the other over.
We had a small mortgage left on our family home. I paid that off (loan from my dad) to compensate for the fact that he has put more of an original deposit down when we forts bought years ago. We split the profits of house 50/50. He bought a smaller house mortgage free whilst I bought a larger house and re-mortgaged. We share care of our school 50/50 roughly so no maintainence.
We also split what little savings we had and kept our own pensions as they were worth roughly the same.
I really think a clean break with break with neither party owing the other has helped keep our relationship post divorce quite amicable.

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