Bombshell?

[backwardsbaseballcap]

ExH and I split up just over 2 years ago whilst I was still pregnant. Courts have never been involved we've always managed to do everything amicably between us regarding property, maintenance and contact.

ExH has very recently told me that he will no longer be able to pay for the property DS and I live in (he was contributing towards the mortgage and I paid everything else - shared ownership apartment) from November (so last contributions will be October) and that we need to get divorced.

Whilst I always knew this was coming and actually had bought up divorce when we separated but he shut it down it still came as a bit of a shock, and panic as in what am I going to do where are we going to live. He says that we need to go through courts & solicitors etc to get divorce finalised, the flat and all aspects of DS sorted. He also currently helps pay towards DS Nursery fees (he pays half a day I pay the other day and a half) and as I'm guessing he says he'll be skint he won't be able to pay this either.

I know that he has been paying all he should and probably a lot more than required which I've appreciated but it doesn't stop me panicking about what will happen when all of that stops. Anyone got any advice/help please?!

@AllThreeWays I understand how what I've written makes it sound but it's not entirely the case. He hasn't been funding my life or anything and I haven't been dependant on him for funds. His name is still on the property and mortgage etc so really he has a responsibility to contribute towards it. Being shared ownership the mortgage is not very much per month.

As said previously I do appreciate how he's paid for other certain things but it was all offered by him I didn't ask for it once. I think all agreements we've come to up until now have been fair and as amicable as they could be.

Does he think he will be awarded 50% of the equity in the home?

@swimmerlab I think he's counting on it to be able to move forward with finding his own place to rent and live his life. Of course, he's entitled to go off and live his life but I would've thought he'd move in with his girlfriend as they've been together almost a year so she will be paying half the bills. He thinks we'll sell the flat, he'll get a chunk of money he says 'i can only afford less than half of what I was paying you' dust his hands off and walk away into the sunset. Contact he has now with DS is at best sporadic, although he mentioned "everything with DS will be sorted with everything else by solicitors" so I have no idea what that means

I think you need to wake up and smell the roses.
You had two years to sort your life out. As "
AllThreeWays " said you became very complacent and now the shit have hit the fan.
Regardless of how long he has been with the girlfriend, that is not your business and he is a "free" man to do what he wants.
Your business is to ensure that you receive what you are entitled to regarding the flat and going forward the child support.
Stop worrying about him and worry about yourself and how you are going to manage.
What about your mother doing more child care and see if you can get a full time job.
What surprised me is that you said that you only have 300 in savings, but what you being doing. You should have cut all the way back and created a : life happens fund and an emergency fund which would have seen you in good stead right now.
Yes, it 's hard, but once he left you were really on your own and it was only a matter of time before he found someone and wanted to move on with his life.
As I tell my friends: a man will always find another woman, but for us women, we tend to take a longer time before we get tangled up with someone new.
You are young and I hope that you use this as a learning experience that dependency on your partner is not a guaranteed. I learnt that as a huge cost to myself and that is one mistake I refuse to let happen to me again.
Is there anyway you can get a friend to live with you, so that you can keep the flat.
Or could your mom buy out his portion, and then get a friend or cousin to move in, pay rent so that you can keep the flat.
You and the baby will have to share, if this is a problem for you, than your expectations are too high.
You might have to move into the baby's room, but look at this way, if it takes living like that for 5 years so that you can keep the flat, it's a sacrifice worth doing.
You have to be practical and in a situation like this, you need to leave the emotions at the door and see how you can resolve this situation.
As others have said, sit down and write down all your financial outgoings, so that when you seek legal advice you are ready.
Before seeking legal advice, I would first find out if your mom is willing to be a part owner on the flat. That way you have something to bring to the table.
Good luck.

Have you been on the csm website to see how much he should be paying? That's a good start point for your future planning. If you don't know his exact salary sometimes you can estimate from job ads online?