I want to divorce but lacking courage

[Steppedinit]

It’s my first time posting here.. I want to leave my husband but I’m a total coward.

He’s not a bad man, but he never faces his issues, leaves me feeling unheard & invalidated all the time, and dismisses my concerns. At the same time, he can be quite lovely & caring, which is confusing bc on one hand I love being with him but on another I can’t stand it anymore.

We don’t have any kids together thankfully, I know he’s going to be shocked & hurt when finallt muster up the courage to walk away, but I’m really struggling with this! He thinks everything is ‘fine’, but it’s not fine. He’s just silenced me in a way so I’m stewing internally & he thinks everything has been resolved.

Nothing ever gets resolved though, just shut down & tucked away like it never existed in the first place.

Ladies who have left your H’s, how did you finally get the courage to leave?!? The more time that goes on the harder this gets. I need to just bite the bullet already

7 July bombings. I got home, watched the news, and thought that life is fragile and sometimes shorter than you know. And that what we had truly wasn't living.

Exactly as MrsBertBibby said. You only have one life and sadly things don't always turn out as we want. You have the power to change things. I have very little happiness so I need to move on. It has taken me years to get to this point. Some days I feel courageous, sometimes I feel in a total panic. Now I have got this far there is no going back and I can almost feel a new life is out there for me. In my situation I am asking my H to leave on my solicitor's advice. I am fearful of his reaction. But I know I have to do this so the courage is slowly coming.

Good luck OP, go for the life you deserve.

I gained a lot of weight in my marriage, 60kg to be exact.
I started getting unwell from stress & lost 40kg.
One day I noticed how much healthier I look in the mirror, and I decided “damn, look at me... I deserve better!”
Might sound selfish, but losing the weight and seeing my old self again & realising the stress of my marriage caused the weight loss, meant I wasn’t happy and needed out.

Thank god no kids! ( Hope that's not a hurtful comment. It wasn't meant to be). So much easier and straightforward when no DC's involved!

I’m in the same boat, he’s not a horrible person but he’s emotionally disconnected from me and his kids. He doesn’t engage at all. Sits in the other room away from everyone else watching tv, total disinterest in everyone else. No intimacy, been married 20 years and think the last time we kissed (except for s peck on the cheek) was probably 18 years ago.

I'm a coward too. Live unhappy, although thankfully he cleans, cooks, does laundry and does his share of school pick up, there's nothing else there. After marriage counselling he's stopped calling me a f*bitch. yay. Conversation still 0, but I have 2 wonderful children and a good house, why should I want more.

This was me for years . A close family member died last year and it really bought home that life is too short and that you never know how long you have . I took a good look around and thought it was time to be brave and finally make some changes .
Now the divorce is in progress, the house is on the market and I'm looking forward to my new future.