This is more of an outpouring than anything else. So bear with me...
I’m so done with feeling sad all the time. Well not all the time but I get periods of grief around my marriage breakup. Although we’ve been separated and divorced for a while, it was only when he got a into a serious relationship that I truly realised it was over, and that he was no longer there for me. Last year, I went through a few months of feeling the grief and depression, crying a lot. I thought I’d got through it!
But no, here it has come again, and the whirling thoughts going over it all: the if only’s, if only I’d tried harder to save the marriage, if only we’d done this or that, the self-blame
Then there’s the seeing other families out and about, and me thinking it would be so much easier if I was with him.
The guilt - bringing my children up in a divorced parent scenario
The overwhelm - ‘I can’t cope, being a single parent is too hard’
The loneliness - sometimes the crushing loneliness
The memories of better times
Financial worries
Part of it I know is that I haven’t moved on much, whereas he has moved on completely.
I just thought I’d got over this bit and that I couldn’t feel this grief again, but I have. I’m thoroughly fed up with it. Moan moan moan....rant over