I posted on here on Mother's Day just after I found out from my husband's laptop left open that he was having an affair.
Two and a half months later, he has basically moved out and is living with his mum, and has been spending time with the other woman every other weekend. He's even taken her and her 8 year old daughter camping with his family, while my kids still don't really know what's happening.
Anyway, today he came to take the children out for the day - first day out just him and children (and his mother) since this all started in March. He asked if he could speak to me for a few minutes outside before they left. I've tried to keep big topics of conversation in emails - to avoid emotional responses, and keep a record, but reluctantly agreed to go outside and talk to him in the car while my MIL (Who has lied and covered for him) stayed inside with our children (7 & 4).
It turns out he and the other woman have "no plans to see each other in the future". I replied good, and commented on the damage they had already caused her daughter by messing her around. He said he would be around more at weekends now (like I'm meant to be pleased about that?!?) and in light of that, he would like to take the children away on holiday with his family for the last week of the summer term.
This holiday with his family is because his sister lives in scotland and so her children break up for school holidays 2 weeks earlier than England. She has booked the same large house in the Lakes as she booked last year, and like last year invited her two brother, their families and mother to go. I have no issues with her doing that. She's kept the same plan.
Originally, my husband booked leave to go and was intending to go on his own (at least I thought on his own!!) with the rest of them. I was cross with him that he wanted to use a week's holiday not on his children, and that their whole family were getting together when just our children couldn't go. I'm a teacher, so term time holidays are never an option for me.
So this morning, straight after telling me that he and this woman are now not together, he said "so following on from that, I want to take the children to the lakes for the week with my family!" Like it;s only now important for them to see their cousins (who they haven't seen for nearly 4 years thanks to him) now he and this woman aren't together. Clearly she was also meant to be going.....
I strongly believe they shouldn't miss a week of school. I'm a governor at their school. My son is only in nursery so that is less of an issue, but my daughter is in Yr 2. On the Monday of that week they have a transition afternoon where they all go and spend the afternoon with their new teachers, including my son visiting his new reception class with new classmates etc. I'm adamant they don't miss that, and already have permission from my boss to have the afternoon off to take my son to that.
My husband has said he'll write to the head and he's sure she'll understand. But from governors' meetings, I know the absence will have to be recorded an unauthorised. I also know that our school does not charge for holiday absences. So money is not the issue. But only 2 months into this separation/divorce journey I don't want to set precedents that he can take the children out of school whenever he wants. He is generally un-supportive of school, doesn't help with homework, thinks rules are silly etc.
Should I put my foot down? Legally can he just take them away without my agreement? My sister (who's more diplomatic than me!) thinks I should compromise and let him take them just the Wed-Sat, based on the fact that the last couple of days will be videos etc.
Very long rambling post! Sorry