High functioning alcoholic exh

[marilee30]

New on here so not sure if I'm on the right board.
Exh & I are 8 years apart with three kids all teens. I'm remarried a year & exh remarried a few months ago.
One of the major factors in our split was his drinking - he's a very high functioning alcoholic & has a lot of people (inc. our kids) fooled as to the extent of his addiction.
We coparent pretty well (though I do most of the work & am the RP). I've been to years of therapy to try to cope with the fallout from my marriage to him but my therapist said to me today that she believes I'm suffering from PTSD from having spent years with an addict.
I think she's right as I can tell his drinking (which has always gone in cycles) is on the increase & I find myself so triggered by what I'm hearing about his behaviour from the kids (he hides the extent of the drinking but associated behaviours are mood swings & unpredictability which the kids see).

I feel so lost in that I feel that I will never be free of the emotional abuse I suffered at his hands.
I'm just wondering if anyone else has been through similar & if so how do you keep yourself mentally & emotionally well?
Thanks 🙏🏻

I am still married to mine - divorce is going through the courts - and he sounds less severely abusive than yours, but yes, been there. I am encouraged to see you are seeing a therapist - but are you part of a support group specific to your needs as the ex-partner or an addict? Getting help for your PTSD is important, but without the substance abuse specific support, you are missing a piece of the puzzle. I am a member of a support group run by a local charity and along Al-Anon lines (but not directly them) and it has been a lifesaver. On my good days, I can use my experiences to support people who are just starting out on the road of freeing themselves from codependency. On my bad days, I can grieve, cry and be listened to. I would strongly recommend you find somewhere like that. A good group will also help you access tailored support for your DCs - my DDs have had a lot of help from resources signposted by my group. Good luck and pm me if you need to talk outside this thread.