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At the end of my tether

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Liz75c · 24/05/2018 20:51

I seperated from my husband over 2 years ago following domestic abuse, I had to leave our family home with nothing except our 2 children. He had never had much to do with our son aged 11 then as our daughter aged 16 was his favourite. Our son didn’t stay with his dad more than a couple of nights per week but soon after our daughter and her dad had a huge falling out which has resulted in her not seeing him now for almost 2 years. I had put a claim in with cms about 6 months after we seperated and was awarded a claim however he told me that if I continued then the house which I jointly own would be repossessed as he wouldn’t be able to afford the mortgage so I never took a penny from him even though I have now got debts due to having to refurnish a home from scratch. He started seeing more of our son which I was pleased about as they had never had a good relationship and he sent me a shared care plan which worked around his shifts with our son staying with him 3 nights a week, however towards the end of last year he started preventing me from collecting my son on the days I was supposed to have him, he blocked me from his mobile, changed the house phone number and the locks on the doors, when I would call round to collect him he would close all the curtains and turn his music up full blast. I contacted the police who told me that unless I had a court order there wasn’t much I could do on 1 occasion he was working until 2am and left our 13 year old son home alone during that time, I contacted nspcc they said it was a grey area as you couldn’t leave a 13 year alone all night but it wasn’t quite all night. He is spoiling our son with expensive gifts and allowing him to do whatever he like eg staying up until 10.30pm on a school night. In October I got a letter from child benefit saying he had counter claimed and I had to answer several questions about nights with me, address at school, doctors and where he stays when he is poorly (with me and I lose a days pay) In February they said they had adwarded the claim to his dad I was completely and utterly shocked and didn’t understand why. Just after that I received a letter from cms saying he was claiming from me for our son and because he has the child benefit he has now been awarded the claim of almost 200 per month. I contacted school and gp and it turns out he has moved him to another gp without even asking me so I have transferred him back to our family gp. He has now reduced his hours at work so only works 3 days a week and has put together a new rota which has our son with him 4 nights a week. I have now got a solicitor to start mediation and hopefully go to court (which I cannot afford) I just really don’t know what to do I have written to child benefit to explain that his gp had been changed but as of yet heard nothing and I can’t afford to pay cms as the rent I pay is around 150 more than the mortgage. I have also started divorce proceedings now. My son was always a mummy’s boy we were inseparable his dad never had time for him he would just shout at him and slam doors at him but it’s as if all that has been forgotten, the frustrating thing is my ex is just interested in money always has been, all our savings had gone and even the kids savings which he was the named adult, only discovered when our daughter was 18 and asked for them but alas all gone and should have been around 5 grand as all her b/day and Xmas money from being a baby had gone into it. It’s all making me so ill I just don’t what to do it’s like being in hell with no way out.

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