Confused about divorce finances

[Baffledmuch]

Hi,

I'm a long term poster who has name changed for advice from anyone who knows more about divorce finances. We are trying to avoid solicitors fees and come to amicable agreements if possible.

We've been married for 10 years and have three primary school age daughters. We have a house with a mortgage that has around 100k, maybe a bit more, in equity. We both have pensions, mine having been reduced by working part time since the children came along within our marriage time frame.

Ideally we want me to stay in the house with the children, at least until they are grown up. What happens with house equity and pension pots? Obviously my pension is lower from being part time for a number of years but I still have well over 20 years to retirement, as does stbxh. Whilst we have equity in the house its not completely clear how this would measure up to pension rights etc and if rights to one could be swapped for rights to the other fairly?

As I said, we are trying to be fair to each other and not incur big legal costs, especially as not cash rich.

You need to know the figures. How much are your pension pots worth?

Add the value of all the pots together, ie house, savings, pensions etc and you have the total amount. The negotiation will be who gets what percentage of the pot, and then what assets. If the women is the lower earner and main child carer then there is often a bias more towards capital for housing as opposed to pensions which are not accessible. The counter balance is ensuring that the other party is suitably provided for. All of this is influenced by who earns what

There is not set formula although a decent family law practitioner solicitor will soon have an idea of a ballpark figure have seen the form E disclosures

Im coming out other side of all this, so this i based on my experience- I'm not a solicitor

Even if you do this amicably you must have full financial disclosure, and you need to look at getting a financial consent order. Are you using mediation?

A court would start with housing the children first, so where they will live/ how you are sharing residency. From this might flow any child maintenance payments and then financial needs of resident parent to house the children.

You need to list out all the assets, capital you hold jointly and individually, then all debts and liabilities you hold jointly and individually. Including pensions.

You also need to understand each other's income and borrowing capacity.

then start to look at how To divide based on housing children, how much you each need to house yourself etc.

yes you can offset eg you take more equity and he keeps more pension.

If you want to stay in house until children are older ate you buying him out now or looking at a Mesher Order?
This might help:

www.judiciary.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/fjc-financial-needs-april-16-final.pdf

I know you want to keep costs down, but do go and see a solicitor with all your numbers to understand all this for YOUR situation.

Good luck

Sort out what everything is worth and go and see a solicitor for free consultation - they will give you an idea of what you should go for - even if you have to pay them for a few letters to confirm it all it will be worth it in the long run. You need to resolve what shares of assets you should have and also the ongoing cost of looking after the DC and the impact on your life/earning etc

Just going through this and my ex has sold the car which was owned outright. I’ve offered the car if he leaves my house but nothing is agreed yet - can he do that?

Just posting for advice. My friend separated from her partner (not married) and did not take legal advice. Yes, she now knows this was very foolish.
She had previously partly owned her previous house from her first marriage and bought some of this (money) into, as a deposit, towards the house with her partner, into this relationship.
But I don't think this was taken into account in the negotiations.

The house was sold, he's bought a new place, she's moved into rented with their dd.

Can you ever go back and renegotiate? Or once it's done and agreed, is it too late.