Me. I was totally emptied out financially by my exH both during my marriage - he was financially controlling, my earnings went into an account that I could not access, in his name only, and he would give me a small pot of that each month, even though I had earned it all. When I left him and had my earnings diverted I was shocked at how much easier it was not having to scrape for every penny.
Like you I am a freelancer, but working in a different field. I had worked during marriage but he kept telling me I was rubbish and just got lucky etc and so I had no confidence in my own abilities.
Since leaving him I have gained confidence and slowly but surely started treating my skills as a genuine business, and asking for higher rates in a slow measured manner, starting with clients that I already have a good trusting long term relationship with.
This has reaped massive benefits as I realise people will pay me more than I used to ask for, and I have a skill that is needed and so my confidence has really increased.
I also go onto LinkedIn and joined a million recruitment agencies and am always, always polite with them in the hope that little bits of work will trickle through. One woman I chatted to at a work event called me a few months later and I landed 3 years worth of work with them in the end.
It’s also much easier not being married to someone who spends. I am happy to live frugally and according to my own priorities (eg I don’t ever eat out but I do book hols every year if possible, even if it’s juts taking the kids camping).
I was like you and thought I was financially ruined but over time I have rediscovered myself and have not been afraid to pursue work more directly, set myself targets each month and work late to achieve them.
I have zero pension now, aged 43, and this will be the next thing I tackle. You can do this. You will surprise yourself. Work, Work and Work some more and you will do this.